Well, I think everyone had a good time yesterday, acting out “Oh, Just Drop Them Anywhere”.
The neat part is that your zoom theater company doesn’t need singers and musicians. The music comes prepackaged, like you’d see today on Broadway and in large concerts. Nobody does straight live anymore.
The first song tonight was inspired by the fact that I had just rolled out of a 90 degree heat in my bedroom, and that’s with the air conditioner blowing out cold air.
That room can sometimes get really hot.
So I ended up out here in the office feeling rather peaked and worn out. I could feel every one of those 83 years behind me.
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So I wrote this song to commemorate the inspiration to drink more water…
The Hydration-Depression Blues
[VERSE 1]
🎙️ Lead:
Dry mouth hummin’ like a dusty fan
🎶 Echo: (Dusty fan…)
Stumblin’ ‘round like a busted tin can
🎶 Echo: (Busted tin can…)
No water left in the kettle or cup
🎶 Call & response: (Ain’t no mercy…)
Feels like my body just gave up
🎶 Whisper echo: (Gave up…)
[CHORUS]
I got the Hydration Depression Blues
🎶 Chorus echo: (Hydration… Depression…)
Didn’t sip when I shoulda, now I’m payin’ my dues
🎶 Call: (Oh, I messed up…)
Slumped in the shade with a glass I abused
🎶 Chorus echo: (That ol’ glass…)
I got the Hydration…Depression…Blues.
[VERSE 2]
The sun’s layin’ heavy on my crown
🎶 Echo: (On my crown…)
Every thought like it’s sinkin’ down
🎶 Chorus hum: (Mmm-hmm…)
Shoulda drunk a water bottle or two
🎶 Call: (But I didn’t…)
Now I’m stuck in this slow-motion stew
[CHORUS]
I got the Hydration Depression Blues
🎶 Echo: (Hydration… Blues…)
Didn’t sip when I shoulda, now I’m payin’ my dues
🎶 Call: (It’s too late now…)
Slumped in the shade with a glass I abused
🎶 Echo: (That ol’ glass…)
I got the Hydration…
🎶 Background moan: (Blues…)
Depression…
🎶 Echo: (Ssshhh…)
Blues
[BRIDGE]
Lemon wedge floatin’ in a mason jar…
Looks like heaven…
Feels so far
Swear on this bottle, I’ll make it right—
Sippin’ every hour from here till night
[FINAL CHORUS]
No more Hydration Depression Blues
🎶 Echo: (No more blues…)
Got my water bottle shined like brand-new shoes
🎶 Chorus: (Shined like shoes…)
Feelin’ that cool run down my spine
🎶 Background call: (Yeah, that’s fine…)
I’m back in the flow
🎶 Jug blow: (Whoooomp…)
And the groove is fine
💧 Outro:
🎙️ “Next time… I sip first.”
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No Cure for Stupid — Remix
[VERSE 1]
🎙️ Lead:
There is no cure for stupid, and there is no cure for dumb
🎶 Echo: (No cure for dumb…)
There is no cure for sitting there just sucking on your thumb
🎶 Echo: (Suckin’ on your thumb…)
You cannot fix what will not think, nor get a rock to run
🎶 Call: (No thinkin’ rock!)
There is no cure for stupid, so put away the gun.
[CHORUS]
Oh, they say common sense is not so common in these days
🎶 Gospel-style echo: (Not these days…)
You can lead them to the truth, but they’ll just turn away
🎶 Echo: (Turn away now…)
Got their heads in the sand in a world gone numb
🎶 Call: (Heads down…)
There is no cure for stupid—ain’t that dumb?
🎶 Low harmony: (Ain’t that dumb…)
[VERSE 2]
🎙️ Lead:
Now you can dress them up fancy, but they won’t know a thing
🎶 Echo: (Lookin’ sharp, still not smart…)
You can give them all the answers, but true facts won’t make them sing
🎶 Call: (They don’t sing!)
They’re like a clock that’s tickin’, but the hands don’t ever move
🎶 Echo: (Tickin’… no clickin’…)
They’ve got the whole world flat and that is that, which they can’t ever prove
[VERSE 3 – CONSPIRACY ROLL CALL]
🎙️ Lead:
We never landed on the moon
🎶 Echo: (Didn’t happen!)
They say the Earth is shaped like a spoon
🎶 Echo: (Spoon, y’all…)
Wi-Fi gives you brain control
🎶 Echo: (That signal’s deep…)
And birds ain’t real—they’re on a roll
Elvis, he lives in a Vegas saloon.
🎶 Call: (He’s still singing with that old Elvis croon…)
They’re waiting for Jesus to come back real soon
🎶 Echo: (Any day now…)
Won’t wear a seat belt but I will pack a gun
🎶 Low voice: (Freedom, baby…)
Cuz logic is out, and the dumber ones won
[BRIDGE]
So when the world gets heavy and you’re scratching your head
Just laugh it off, and ignore it instead.
You can’t make good sense where sense can’t belong
Just hum a dumb tune and pretend to sing along.
[FINAL CHORUS]
Oh, they say common sense is not so common in these days
🎶 Echo: (Not these days…)
You can lead them to the truth, but they’ll just turn away
🎶 Echo: (Turn away now…)
Got their heads in the sand in a world gone numb
🎶 Call: (Just plain dumb…)
There is no cure for stupid—ain’t that dumb?
(Ain’t… that… dumb…)
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Here’s the Bardo bus! Hop aboard! Nice hopping.
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See You At The Top!!!
gorby