To Be Or Knot To Bee

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Judith Spellcaster at her home Altar, photo by E.J. Gold.

The Magickal Arte of Knottinge was published in 1563 by Johannes Carradine in London. I have what may well be the only copy, and I’ve referred to it frequently over the years, and with the advent of my Judith Spellcaster Knotting Spells, you can benefit from this well of ancient knowledge. I’ll explain as briefly as I can, and expound in detail at the Interdimensional Contact Workshop this morning.

You’ve probably either done it yourself, or seen someone do it — you know what I mean…they’ve tied a piece of string around one finger, like a soft ring, more or less. If you ask what it’s about, they’ll tell you that they’re using the string to remind them of something that they don’t want to forget. This device is called a mnemonic.

Mnemonics come in many different sizes and packages, and have several widely diverging purposes. The most common mnemonics are rhyme and meter, as well as simplification, association and repetitions by name and/or number. There are more, but that should give you the general idea.

So, behind this is the concept that you have something specific in mind. Don’t pull what Goldie Hawn pulled on me when I was editing Galaxy Magazine. She said she wanted to submit a story to Galaxy, but she was having an “author’s problem”, is how she put it.

“So what’s the basic idea for your story?” I asked her, definitely interested in getting a sci-fi story from Goldie, whom I’d known since 1966, I guess it must be, when I worked for General Sarnoff — a short-lived gig, about which I’ll tell you sometime later. I also worked at NBC’s enemy, CBS, for a while…actually I started in the CBS mailroom, but never lived up to that early promise.

“That’s my problem,” she responded, “I have no idea.”

Some of us think life’s a bit like that, but it isn’t, you know. Life is very much like a tin of sardines…we’re all of us looking for the key.

Well, the key is sound. Sometimes the sound is formed in letters, numbers, figures, expressions, calculations and even artistic configurations, but in the end, it’s all sound, one big, single sound, that splits up into what you see, hear, sense, feel and understand — every universe that exists, and there are plenty of them, some quite nearby, is built of sound.

Sure, there are other things besides sound that have power and presence, but when you’re trying to upload a console command, there’s nothing like a good sound to get the idea across to the Main Frame and Operating System of any universe, even this rinky-dink accident they call a universe. I suppose Jehovah expects a passing grade on his Term Finals for this one, but that’s not going to happen. It’s back to the drawing board for Darwin.

Speaking of the Christs, Mr. and Mrs. Christ (that’s “Joe” and “Mary” to you) are expected at this year’s MemFest, along with Tiny Tim (call him “Mr. Tim’) and Sammy Davis, Jr. (you can call him “Mr. Junior”).

Um, where was I, when I so rudely interrupted myself??? Oh, yeah, it all comes back to me now, and if that isn’t an excellent description of Fast-Lane Karma, what is?

Please, don’t ask. I’m trying to wade through this and come out with an explanation for why I’m all in knots now.

So in the days of oral traditions (some non-texting cultures still practice this ancient verbal artform) you kept track of where you were by passing a knotted string, or rope, or varying sized beads through your hand — each knot or key bead marked off one section of prose or verse.

The knots stood for something, see?

The programming word you want is “alias”. It stands for something else. The “it” happens to be a programmatically correct version or form or substitution for the thing you want, get it? You’ve converted sound into conversational knotting — in short, you’ve converted organic-world gibberish into fundamentally electronic configs in the form of quantum-quirls, little localized zig-zags and swirls that tweak your average electron mercilessly into a form of nano-sculpture. The net result is that the Giant Processor in the Sky is then able to recognize the converted characters which you’ve expressed as knots in a string.

Add to that an additional sound reinforcement, such as chanting, music, gong, bells, trumpets, whatever, and you create not only a mnemonic, but a magickal (you can say “quantum” if it makes you feel any better) effect.

Add to that an intention at the making of each knot, and you compound the magickal effect by a great deal more.

Now add a pinch of higher-centrum emotion, a dash of high-attention and just a smidge of alpha/theta brainwave function, topped with a shmear of Celtic May O’Naise.

Blend well before a purified altar equipped with the standard SuperBeacon, Matrix and Knotted Capsules, place the appropriate Magnetic Crystal Generator in the Charger, and you are ready to rock plus roll. Be sure to wear your favorite CQR amulet.

Technically, you’re spellcasting, if you believe the superstitions of the local populace. Actually, you’re exercising very ordinary Admin Powers by using knottings thusly — knotted spellcasting is just another way of viewing simple programmer operations, keeping track of them by assigning significance to each of the knots in the string.

If you’re ever stranded on a strange planet without tools, weapons, equipment, armor or maps, you can always rely upon knots to get you out of a knotty situation. To be, or knot to bee is, indeed, the question.

See You At The Top!!!

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