ZOOMSHOP – Magic Routines

x
Golden Buddha Ball Floats all by itself, just mix in the patter.

FRENCH DROP — $39.95

In deep space, Hydrogen atoms mysteriously & spontaneously appear out of nothingness. Space expands and contracts and can be twisted and distorted by gravity. Electrons vanish and reappear in a laboratory experiment. Battleships travel through time and vanish without a trace.

Things have a way of not being there one moment, and the next moment, there they are, where they should have been all the time. Wallets, keys, pens & pencils, cufflinks and paper clips — all have a way of vanishing mysteriously, with no explanation, literally in a split second, while you turned your head momentarily, but then when you look again, where you just looked, the thing that wasn’t there before, is there now.

We’ve all experienced this mystery, so let’s make an experiment together, and see if we can make some small object vanish into another dimension and then come back to us again.

Here’s a large round crystal ball. It’s easy to see, right? Let’s watch as it vanishes into thin air. (PERFORMS FRENCH DROP, SHOWS HAND TO BE EMPTY.) That was easy, wasn’t it?

Science tells us that electrons do this all the time. They vanish into another dimension, then pop back out again into ours, like this. (PRODUCES OBJECT FROM OTHER HAND.)

What if we knew how to put enough atoms together in a single stable coherent form, would we be able to travel from one dimension to another?

Science tells us yes. It’s just a matter of time before a human can travel comfortably to another dimension. The real question will be, not “do you have a passport, travel visa, mastercard or cash”, but “do you have a reservation?” because everybody everywhere wants to be somewhere else.

DANCING GHOST SILK HANKY — $89.95

I’m sure you’ve seen a ghost sometime in your life. There are literally millions of ghosts all over the planet, and every small town has at least one or two hiding in the attic. Some fairly small towns have a surprisingly large number of ghosts. (TAKES 18″ WHITE HANKY OUT OF SMALL ANTIQUE STYLE WOODEN BOX.)

The thing about working with ghosts is that you can’t really control them, and you don’t really want to. It’s best to let them manifest any way they can, like my friend Walter here — he can’t get up enough ectoplasm to become visible to the living, but luckily, my silk hanky here, (WAVES HANKY IN MIDAIR) can be possessed by a ghost, and Walter, being a ghost, has a talent for taking over a body, which is commonly called possession and, as we all know, possession is nine-tenths of the law, whatever that means. (TIES A KNOT IN THE SILK TO REPRESENT THE GHOST’S HEAD.)

So Walter is going to possess the body of my silk hanky in order to manifest, to become visible to our eyes, NOW! (SILK HANKY BEGINS DANCING ABOUT, THEN FLIES AROUND IN CIRCLES.)

That’s enough, Walter, thank you. (SILK DROPS TO LEFT HAND AND REMAINS THERE, LIMP AND NORMAL.)

That’s how ghosts always manifest. They have to have some corresponding in the material world that they can vibrate and control, like the body of a psychic medium or an object like this plain white silk scarf. (UNTIES SILK AND HANDS OVER FOR INSPECTION.)

ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS DIMENSION SLIDER — $49.95

Even on mainstream television, you’ll find all sorts of dimensional sliders and time-shifters. The American language is now filled with hundreds of words related to time and space shifts and dimensional shifting, barrier crossing and alien abductions.

Just as a sloth sees things rightside-up, the vision self-adjusts in the brain to compensate for upside down, and the new brain in the new reality adjusts itself to match the new reality and vanish the thoughts of the old reality, just a few seconds back in time, but billions of miles away in space.

Let’s take a walk through a special gateway into another dimension. We’ll be using an alien dimensional mirror captured from a crashed UFO in the Arizona desert in 1964.

LOT’S WIFE’S MAGIC SALT SHAKER — $39.95

Back in the Biblical Times, science was different. There were no books, no way to read or record thoughts about anything, except the so-called Bible, a historical record from oral tradition regarding the origins of some ancient tribe. Ancient writings are generally crude attempts to describe modern science in terms of ancient beliefs and traditions. One Earth human’s magic is some off-world alien species’ everyday science.

Lot’s wife was told not to look back on her home as it was destroyed, but she couldn’t resist just one quick peek, and at that moment, she turned into a pillar of salt. Salt has mysterious qualities. It is an absolute must of nature that we have some salt every day, but what exactly is salt?

Some say that salt is just salt, that there is nothing else like it, but the fact is that there are very different kinds of salt, because salt is actually a combination of elemental chemicals that have a particular set of properties, one of which profoundly affects our taste buds. We like salted french fries, salted chips, salted pretzels and salt water taffy, but did you know that salt doesn’t actually exist?

Salt is a state of mind. If you believe in salt, why, there it is. But if you decide to not believe in salt, there is no salt, never was any salt, never will be any salt, and that’s the way it is, always has been and always will be, if we think we believe what we see, when we clearly don’t.

HEALING SPIRIT LIGHTS — $89.95

Shakti power must be brought down from Above. It does not originate within the body, although the body is able to momentarily house the higher energy of Shakti power.

Shakti energy can be gathered into small balls of energy, which radiate healing power into our world. All healing requires energy, and special Shakti Power from the Higher Realms is considered the best healing force in the universe.

Let’s draw some Shakti Power down right now, and throw the energy balls into an organic body, to give it extra healing power that it can use to heal itself.

AMAZING RAINBOW QUANTUM WORMHOLE — $89.95

We all know what happens when you mix or blend things in the Einsteinian Universe. They stay blended. They don’t and can’t unmix, right? Let’s explore that proposition now, with the use of this Quantum Wormhole. A wormhole is a double-ended torque through space-time with a single-sided black hole on each end, and they can be literally worlds or universes apart. Travel through the wormhole is instantaneous and feels really weird, liking being drunk. If you’ve never been drunk, ask a glass of water what it’s like to be drunk.

We’ll take this red silk scarf and add to it this blue silk scarf, push them through this wormhole, reach through the wormhole into the other dimension, and with whatever my hand looks like in that dimension, I’ll thoroughly mix them up, blend them together into one single color. So, art students, which color is it?

Right. When you mix red and blue, you get purple, but did you know that you can use this simple everyday effect of the Einsteinian Universe to go backwards in time? Remember that according to physics, once something has been mixed up, it won’t unmix back into its original form, pretty much no matter what you do, including reverse time, but that’s not actually quite true.

What happens is that when you merely reverse the EFFECTS of time, the mixed stuff won’t unmix, but when you reverse TIME ITSELF, the mixed stuff unmixes, just like the purple scarves unmix into a red scarf and a blue scarf, see??? The only way something can unmix or unblend is to travel backwards in time, and that’s just exactly what we all did, together, and here we all are now.

GOLDEN BUDDHA LEVITATION — $89.95

This is  the famous Golden Buddha Ball from Thailand. Although it is hollow inside, it is made of thin, but solid, 24 karat pure gold, and weighs less than one ounce.

Even though the Golden Buddha Ball is made of metal, there is a simple secret to its levitation, which I will demonstrate to you.

The secret is that the Golden Buddha Ball is a rigid gold-plated balloon, merely filled before the performance with a bit of canned gas, just like those floating toy balloons you can buy at the circus or fair.

Unless I hold it down, the Golden Buddha Ball will float upward, and if there’s nothing to stop it — if I perform this outdoors, for instance — the ball will continue to float upward all the way into the upper atmosphere, just like any gas-filled balloon.

Be sure to develop the skill to catch the ball before it floats away forever.

2,000 YEAR OLD MYSTERY OF THE CHINESE LINKING RINGS — $69.95

We all know that solid matter cannot pass through solid matter, but let’s take another look at that profoundly basic assumption. Who  says that solid matter can’t pass through solid matter, anyway? We take that as solid fact without ever examining the question. Tell the truth, did you ever actually TRY to pass solid matter, such as this solid steel ring, through solid matter, such as this second solid steel ring? I thought not.

Well, how in the world can you really know anything for total sure? You have to do it yourself, carry out the experiment, see what happens when you do THIS… Yes, solid matter can, indeed pass through solid matter. Let’s do it again, with these two rings, and then link then all together, four solid steel rings passing through each other to make this lovely necklace for some lovely giant. We’ll talk about giants, gnomes, elves, fairies, witches, goblins and alien abductors in the next lecture. Meanwhile, let’s take a look at what we think we know about the universe, shall we???

AMAZING FOLDING BANDANA — $89.95

Space cannot exist without time. Time is bound into space. Time and space warp together, twisted and turned by gravity wells and wormhole tweaks. My object for this experiment will be an ordinary yellow bandana. I have one right here, which I obtained at our local grocery store. As you can see, it is quite ordinary, just a bandana like any other bandana.

We are going to take this simple yellow bandana and fold it into a tesseract. A folded tesseract is a topological structure that contains six three-dimensional copies of itself all in the same space as itself. We will fold it again, and to prove that it is an ordinary bandana, I will allow anyone in the audience to wipe their forehead with this perfectly ordinary yellow bandana. I need to borrow a handbag from someone in the audience, please.

I will now place the bandana into this borrowed handbag, thusly. The borrowed scarf will act as a sort of Trans-Dimensional Wormhole, if I’ve calculated things rightly, and the bandana will look very distorted as a result. This simple action of distorting the space inside the wormhole created in this lady’s handbag should have a very interesting effect on the yellow bandana. Let’s see what strange shape the yellow bandana is in, now that we have shoved it into a new time-space configuration.

But wait a minute, it looks as if the bandana has decided to stay in the other dimension, which means that it’s as if it were never really here at all. Well, I guess now I won’t have to buy you a new handbag after all. That folded bandana could have been quite messy in there, eh?

SILK TO EGG TRANSFORMATION — $89.95

I’m going to show you a simple illusion. I’ll take this silk scarf and shove it into my left fist. Oh, wow, look what happened — the silk scarf turned into an egg. Gosh, that’s sort of the same thing as other forms of transsubstantiation, isn’t it? Of course, you know that old trick. I wouldn’t want to fool you. Naturally, the egg is hollow, and there you see the silk scarf, tucked up inside there.

Well, of course you knew it all along. But wait a moment. I have a little wand in my pocket that performs quantum effects, but wait a moment, let’s examine the egg. What if I just broke the egg into this cup?

That’s all the magic routines for now.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby