Life on the Relationship-Go-Round

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Leslie Ann on way to dance class, October 21,2013, 3:33 a.m.

What is Life on the Relationship-Go-Round? Well, these days, without a church to enforce marriage, relationships, at least in the Western World, are tenuous at best. Most folks today have chain-relationships, or “serial marriages”, one after another. Boy Meets Girl. Boy and Girl Are Separated. Boy and Girl Get Together Again would be the Hollywood Ending, but the fact is that there are more single moms today than ever before, and that’s becoming the Newborn Baby Industry Standard. The question every girl must ask herself about every potential date is, and must be: “Is this the man with whom I want my children to spend their weekends?” What on Earth drives this relationship craze? To anticipate your next guess, I’ll tell you now that it isn’t sex. It also isn’t drugs. Nor is it anything else you’d be likely to guess. For the correct answer, click the “continue reading” button.

The correct answer to “what on Earth drives the relationship craze” is self-esteem. I’ll now proceed to explain.

Don’t ask how this computation came to be, but here it is: If you can seduce someone, you are entitled to raise the bar on your self-esteem by one notch.

Sound ridiculous, I know, but my best answer to this is Snow White, Cinderella and Princess Bride.

I have nothing against those films for children; they simply provide the basis for the hungers to express themselves in later life, in more or less the same way that nursery rhymes such as “Ring Around the Rosy” and nursery stories as told by the Brothers Grimm do…they put the Fear of God into every well-behaved little girl and boy, and that’s the way kids have been raised in the West for many centuries, and it’s not likely to stop anytime soon.

The best examples I can give of the bizarre computation that sexual conquest equals self-esteem are in The Late Middle Ages, and I don’t mean the Medieval Period.

In men, it’s called “Mid-Life Crisis” and in women it reveals itself as the “Conquering Cougar”. What it means is that suddenly sexual seduction becomes super-vital, because sex is now firmly imbued with self-esteem significances, as in: “I attracted someone and they were so fascinated with me that they just had to jump right into bed with me, and that means I am totally cool and far-out and righteous!!!”

It’s a terrible wake-up call when you realize that it could have been anyone, that you were merely available, and that it had nothing to do with attraction, seduction or those sexy spike heels or rakish fedora you were wearing when your eyes met. Basically, any eye-contact will lead to sex, right along with blowing into someone’s ear or pinching their butt. If you’re a very lucky human being with your main focus on staying alive and satisfying every pleasure syndrome that pops up in your nervous system in the normal course of the day, you’ll never have that gut-wrenching realization.

Those aforementioned seductive moves listed above are considered very suave and sophisticated by humans of Planet Earth, but I’m one of those few Immortal Beings who thinks Gilligan is still funny after all these years, so I manage to find some humor in the endless chase.

So if you’re one of those unfortunate creatures who still believes that seduction is about you and not about availability, you’ll still be running on the Relationship-Go-Round, grabbing, reaching, clutching frantically in the air, for that ever-popular brass ring that entitles you to another free ride on the Wheel of Life. Oh, joy, joy.

Imagine subjecting yourself to the crush of a Christmas shopping crowd on the evening of December 24th, forcing your way toward the department store’s perfume counter, with the smell, feel and crush of the crowd of insanely market-driven bipeds, waving credit cards and demanding service, fighting each other for the Garbage Dump Doll and the bargain sleepwear. Realize that those on the Seduction Path actually like those spaces and they go back next week for seconds.

Imagine slugging your way through singles bars, singles sock-hops, singles parties…wait, what am I saying??? All group events are about hooking up, so you don’t have to worry about which ones you attend. Just go around asking everyone, “Hey, dude, where’s the party?” Even innocent events like street fairs and Burning Man Festivals can hold tons of quaint sexual surprises for the intentionally unaware.

On the Relationship-Go-Round, you always have to be ready for that unexpected sexual encounter, which means, of course, that it isn’t unexpected, but the game is to pretend that it is, see? You’ll probably never get it right.

Back in 1968, a very pretty young lady asked me casually if I’d like to go to a party with her. “There’ll be cool music, good people, crazy drugs and wild crazy sex.” “Sounds interesting,” I said, “who’s going to be there?” “Just you and me,” she said. See what I mean? It’s all about availability.

So if your partner or partners is or are indifferent to you as an individual, how does that boost your ego? Beats me. Or is that the S&M crowd’s answer?

Oh, did I not mention EgoBoo?

Oops,so sorry. I’ll repair the error now.

EgoBoo is whatever you do to boost your ego, and your need to boost your self-esteem is no small part of your ego. Sexual conquest is only one way to EgoBoo. There are so many other ways. I’ll elaborate a bit on this, but only briefly. You can look for EgoBoo everywhere and find plenty of it in your life and the lives of those around you.

Food is a good EgoBoo. Eating it, preparing it, serving it and even wasting it are all methods of using food for EgoBoo. Washington hostesses are best known for this form of EgoBoo. It’s also a way of showing off their men — you can dress them up, but you can’t take them anywhere.

So there you are on The Circuit, in an endless round of attraction and seduction. One young lady told me that she’d spent the majority of her young life finding two girlfriends to go out on the street with, to locate three “cute” boys and somehow attract their attention, with the endgame in mind of sex and possibly a longer relationship, maybe three months, before having to find and break in a new one.

Jeez, if you put half that energy devoted toward seduction into your Ashram Work, you’d be able to …. wait… I just realized, I might not have mentioned what Ashram Work really is, and what it’s really all about…

Gosh, could you possibly see your way clear to popping over to the next blog, entitled “Ashram Work”? Thanx.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby