I’m Hiring

gorby at his sales area, Andromeda Sector Product Warehouse

Yep, I’m hanging this sign, “Now Hiring!” in the window of our business website and we’re starting a youtube campaign.

What’s the job? Who’s doing the hiring? How much does it pay? How many hours? Any benefits? Room for advancement?

No, no, none of those things. We’re not bloodthirsty cannibals looking for political revenge, we’re vegetarians, and some of us are self-confessed vegans, so smoke that in your pipe and beat it.

The kind of job I’m talking about, you do yourself, out of your own home, under your own power, with your own product, taking full responsibility for the outcome — it’s 100% yours. In short, you own it.

Sorry if that bums you out.

Hey, we’re right in the middle of re-arranging our bug-out packs from “Second American Civil War” to a downscaled “The valley is overrun with zombies! Run for your lives!” sort of bug-out pack, and we’ll eventually be able to scale it all the way down to “Run!”, which is Charmin toilet paper and whatever else you think you’ll need for a day or two until it’s safe to return to your home.

You’ll notice that the Republicans are VERY sore losers, and they’re determined to bring the entire country down, which is okay with me, as long as they don’t mess with the internet.

Okay, so they might cause some pain over the next few months by their Election Denial, but they can be sure that we will remember what they did now, and it will come back to haunt those childishly brutal and mean-spirited idiots — not just double, but tenfold.

You have St. Michael’s word on that. There’s a good reason Mike is always pictured with a sword, not that he carries one around with him in the apartment, but when he goes out, he certainly goes heavily armed and armored.

In these days, who would venture out without weapons, armor, potions and plenty of runes and runeword capacity, meaning you CARRY your Alchemical Conversions Box with you, or wait until you get back to a safe zone, of which there are exactly none at the moment.

Meanwhile, there is the ongoing issue of whether or not the election system will stand against Republican onslaughts or not. They want to be able to appoint Presidents, and the will of the people constantly gets in their way.

Me, I don’t care if it IS an oligarchy, a country ruled by the rich, as long as everyone gets a fair share.

If some folks are cheating, let them. When they pass the Portals into the Between-Lives State, they will have to answer for their cruelty and the suffering they caused.

Meanwhile, we gotta make a living, and that’s why I’m writing you this letter.

To you, it’s a blog — to me, a letter. I always write as my Dad Horace advised me to — as if I were writing in my diary, or to my closest friend, or both.

That means being brutally honest with yourself about yourself, and saying what’s on your mind, without being mean.

That “without being mean” part is what makes it inevitable that at some point, I’ll have to bring in the meteorite, the asteroid and finally, the cometary mass. If one single pair of humans still exists, they’ll repopulate the planet in a matter of months.

Not to worry, this time my plan is totally foolproof.

I know what you’re going to say. I said the same thing last time, and here they are again, causing a worldwide plague and getting ready to go to war one last time.

Not to worry, I have a marketing plan that takes into account the total disintegration of the United States, when the peaceful transition of power becomes impossible, due to the machinations of several dozen very mean men.

“Very Mean Men” is the margin comment I have here in my History 101 United States of America, chapter 15 in my textbook — there’s a gummy label stuck onto the page right at the inner border, sticking out the top of the book, to indicate that this is an important chapter or page or paragraph in the history of … ah, there it is:

“Trump – Mostly Harmless”

Of course, that entry wasn’t made by people — they regard the utter destruction of their civilization as somehow “not mostly harmless”. Pitiful, eh?

So what’s the job I promised you?

Pull your head out of the sand, Pilgrim. I never said I was offering you a job. I merely said, “I’m hiring”.

Hell, according to political wisdom, that could mean absolutely anything.

Let’s assume it’s some sort of occupation that creates a livelihood, and let’s assume that this plan includes you.

Right off the bat, we’re improving our chances.

Okay, so what IS the job?

Making and selling handpainted boxes.

What?

Yeah, right. You buy some papier-mache boxes — that’s a sort of handmade cardboard, for about a dollar apiece, then you paint them and sell them. That’s the whole plan.

That’s the whole plan?

Yeah, that’s the whole plan. Of course, you’re not going to make any money of any serious consequence — at least, not enough on which to live — by selling stupid little hand-painted cardboard boxes.

You’d have to sell about a thousand of them a day in order to just get by.

Have I ever mentioned my skill as a fry cook? I can make the best 3-egg omelette you ever had in several dozen lifetimes, but I’m not opening a restaurant right now, nor should you.

That leaves two jobs open for any of us.

  1. HOME CARE — Stay at home and clean everything every day and all night long.
  2. FIND SOME WAY TO INTERACT — This is where you paint and sell little cardboard boxes.

Well, there you have it. The Ultimate Solution to the pandemic, the social unrest and the economic collapse of all human civilizations on Planet Earth.

Serves ’em right, if you ask me. Arsenal’s a done deal, as far as I’m concerned. They haven’t a prayer in today’s test match, especially with that Vogon Destructor Fleet hovering overhead.

Do I look worried? I have my thumb. I’m worried about you. Do you have a Thumb? If you don’t, you might want to send for one right now, today. It might arrive just in time, if the mail services have been restored to normalcy, now that the election is over.

Doesn’t it make you ask yourself, “I wonder if the Republicans ever DON’T cheat???” — no point asking anyone else, because if they happen to know, they won’t tell you, and if they don’t know, they can’t tell you anything you don’t already know.

Complicated, isn’t it? And then there’s the matter of the Mars Colony — only a handful of folks can go to Mars, never to return to Earth, and over a hundred thousand have applied. Do they know something you don’t know?

So you buy a little cardboard box for a dollar, then you paint it however you want to — I tend to paint landscapes, but you can paint portraits, which are very popular.

Most people would rather have a picture of themselves than almost anything else, and if they’re standing next to a celebrity, even better.

The primary cause of death in the Grand Canyon — you can fact-check me on this — is people backing up over the cliff while trying to take a “selfie”.

Do they ALL of them get the Darwin Award?

Some don’t ever see the light of day, but they happen anyway, and Election-Denial is one of the more common symptoms of the illness that dominates the life of humans of Planet Earth.

Other humans of other planets don’t have the same problem, because their Third Brain is ordinarily passively active, while Earthians are inhibited by the absence of the Feeling Centrum, otherwise known as the Emotional Brain.

That means more cruelty.

That’s not acceptable, so the antiseptic-apocalyptic approach is indicated, which is why I’m making some paintings in Blacklight Reactive paint, especially my “Astral Targets”, which are heavy cardboard black disks painted with mandalas.

Problem is, you can’t really see these in video or on a computer screen — they don’t radiate the same for the camera as they do for the eye, so it’s a hard sell online, but in person, they go like hotcakes at a company picnic.

I really don’t know how hotcakes go at any public event — never saw them being offered, but I can certainly IMAGINE how they go, and so can you, if you have any imagination at all.

If you don’t have good imagination skills, you might consider attending one of my “Imagining” workshops or clinics.

What’s the different between a workshop and a clinic? I knew you were going to ask that, and I’m ready with an answer:

A Workshop is almost always over an entire weekend, usually a “long” weekend, while a clinic is only a couple of hours on one day only.

There, I’ve been wanting to define those two things for a while, now.

So what IS the job for which I’m Hiring???

Okay, okay, take it easy, I’ll get around to it sooner or later. What you do is, you get hold of a set of PM-1 and PM-3 pens — here are the colors you will certainly need:

White, light grey, dark grey, ivory, beige, yellow, straw yellow, red, brown, wine red, dark green, light green, dark blue, light blue and of course, black.

You’ll use your PM-1 Black pen to create the original drawing, then color that in with the other pens.

You can use the pens as area color fillers if they are allowed to dry between layers, or as painterly strokes, if they are applied wet-on-wet, which is admittedly not an easy task.

The idea here is to get folks to buy them, sure, but that’s not what’s really happening — you’re leading them down a path that includes making and selling little painted boxes just like you’re doing now, get it?

It’s a way to bring someone into the Blessings Path, see?

If they come to ZOOM CLASS, they’ll learn how to imbue the boxes with powerful Blessings, and that’s how the Blessings are passed on and spread around.

Simple plan, simple execution. Start painting boxes. It doesn’t matter HOW they’re painted or in what style or what subject matter or what colors, or any of those considerations.

Just paint some boxes and sell them online. How do you sell boxes online? You go online, that’s the first step. Then you find out how. Nobody really knows, so invent it as you go.

Maybe you’re lousy at selling. Get good at it. Maybe you know nothing about social media or SMM marketing. Learn. Maybe you haven’t any painting skills or artistic talents, and you aren’t really truly interested.

So? What’s yer problem? Do it anyway. And love it.

How can you change your feelings and attitudes about things, especially work you might not like to do?

Just do it.

I give ZOOM classes on Willpower. It’s not hard to achieve. Takes a couple hours to master the skills to strengthen the Will.

Hey, there are dozens more ZOOM classes that I give, on the average of ten a week. In one of them, you learn how to make Blacklight Disks.

In another, you learn how to create a 3D game of your very own.

In yet another ZOOM class, I answer questions about the American Book of the Dead, and about death and dying in general.

In still another ZOOM class, I teach magic, hypnosis and seances, and I’ve been known to offer ZOOM classes in creative writing, silversmithing, coin searching and alien technology.

You have but to name it, and there’s probably a ZOOM class that we offer that will help you explore and master new domains of mystery and awe.

You might also be interested in the more mundane things, like cooking a perfect omelette.

So how can you get started?

Go to one of my ZOOM meetings and introduce yourself, and let’s talk about your path, what’s available to you, and how you can use those things for your further development and calming-down.

Mostly you need to calm down. Relax your mind, park your body, and get re-acquainted with the Spirit Plane.

It’s what they call “meditation”, but it’s focused and single-pointed, not vague and self-congratulatory, which is what ordinary meditation amounts to.

I know, I’ve left a participle hanging there. This is exactly the kind of nonsense, up with which, I shall not put.

That’s Dorothy Parker, in a note to her editor, who complained about her dangling participles.

These days, no one even knows what a participle is, let alone the parts of speech and sentence construction.

You don’t need it to text imogees, which is the present limit of human consciousness.

I’ll present this stuff in ZOOM at the morning meetings. Not a lot can be communicated in the printed word, although you’ll hear lots of noise to the contrary. Look for me in ZOOM.

We’ve done our job — transferred over the Blue Line Norton Street to the quantum matrix, which is a Meta-Creation platform that accepts meta programming levels on the Causal Plane.

We can now edit this space from inside it, and the same is true in Norton. We’ve done it, and only in this horrible Trumpian space is it possible to make that happen. All sorts of weird coincidences have to happen all at once for the Blue Line to manifest itself.

Dick writes entire languages and programs, and he wrote the engine. Claude does 3D modeling, textures and conceptual programming, and sound.

Barbara fixes my mistakes in the levels. I have fun doing the levels. That’s our job descriptions, and that’s what we came here to do. All the rest is a bonus.

One of those extras is the virtual ashram. Another is the guitar practice. And there are more, much more, to benefit all beings everywhere. It’s not my promise, it’s my nature.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby