Tag Archives: marriage

He’ll Change. He Promised He’ll Change.

 

Dale Morse Photo Session by LeslieAnn
Photomontage of Dale’s First Fashion Photo Shoot on Wednesday — Photos by LeslieAnn

“He’ll Change”, women say about their boyfriend or husband, they all tell me that he promised to change, and even enrolled in a therapy group, but they don’t change — they never do. They never have to find continual accommodation to the spoken and unspoken demands of their “life partner”, although relationships these days seldom run into anywhere like “life”.

Women change readily and rapidly, from lover to lover, adjusting to every whim and mood of a new boyfriend, and they have no problem doing so, but they can’t easily end a relationship.

A woman can learn to serve just about any man, and most women are more than willing to be a Man Pleaser, but as pleasing as you might be, the guy eventually tires of you, generally during the first minute of contact. Man-Pleasing is an easy way to earn a living, and if you can keep it up (joke intended) you can maintain The Nest at least until the kids leave home.

Woman all know that after that first smashing boiling ripping roiling minute of “First Contact”, things roll downhill, entropy sets in, and the relationship goes numb. You have to constantly remind the man that he’s in a relationship, and it’s a constant battle between you and the hundreds of younger women he encounters every day.

If you want to maintain Peace In The Household, you’re going to teach yourself to overlook certain things, like the smell of perfume on his shorts, or the stubborn stain on the fly of his pants.

The only thing keeping most relationships going is the cost of lawyers and the threat of joint custody. Continue reading

Just a Wee More About NPD…

Fritz Perls at Cowichan -- photo by ej gold
Fritz Perls at Cowichan — still from a circa 1971 8mm silent film by ej gold

I had no idea what a log-jam had been built up on the issue of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and as a matter of fact, thought we were done with the subject, but I’m now deluged with emails and messages asking for help in digging out of a relationship with an NPD, and I’ll try to give you a boildown on what I know about the illness. Keep in mind that it has only been identified and studied fairly recently, and not everything is known about it by any means, and that it is currently believed incurable. Continue reading

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Why Do You Tolerate It???

 

david car
david

One kind of person you definitely do NOT want to marry is someone, male or female, with NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

What does an NPD look like, exactly?

An NPD is easy to spot. I’ll give you the basic clues in a simple rundown:

1    A very exaggerated sense of one’s talents, skills and importance in the world at large.

2.   An obvious and obsessive need for attention, lots of it, and admiration, if available.

3.   Fantasies of Great Romance. I don’t have to spell this one out for you.

4.   Fantasies of Great Insight, Great Ideas, Personal Greatness in general.

5.   Views people as objects or “dolls”, as in “my dolls came to help me give a party!”, or “hey, bitch, how about a blowjob?”.

6.   Easily offended, and when offended, crushed beyond hope, until he or she gets his or her way with you. For the NPD, everything, even the most harmless and exalted thing, is a weapon to be used to keep you under control.

7.   Self-criticism and NPD do not mix well. NPDs who are confronted with any issues problems will go immediately into a tailspin of rage and/or paranoiac accusations in every direction.

8.   Totally Unbelievably Powerful Sense of Righteousness. Even the most evil of acts can be easily rationalized by the NPD, because lying comes easier than telling the simple truth.

9.   An NPDs feelings are easily hurt. This is the first and sometimes last line of defense for the NPD who hasn’t yet crushed you down all the way to the ground.

10.   Seems very sympathetic and empathetic, but has a heart of stone, no feelings for other whatever, totally sociopathic in every respect, and a potential candidate for doing harm to others without a single drop of remorse.

11.   Has no respect for others, yet demands respect from others, and has a temper tantrum when that doesn’t happen to his or her expectations.

12.   Is able to easily rationalize and justify the most barbaric and animalistic acts, thinks of them as completely ordinary and in every respect totally normal. Doesn’t everyone do what I do??? Of course they do.

13.   Bad things tend to happen around an NPD. They get hurt easily and others get hurt just by being near them, either physically or emotionally or both.

14.   Sense of Personal Entitlement. The world owes them a living, and they tend to let their totally disrupted partner carry the weight of earning the living for both of them.

SO WHAT’S THE ANSWER? Continue reading

Seduction City

g
Here’s a candid snapshot I took of my friend Goldie, thinking about stuff, circa 1972-ish.

Most women tell me that they were seduced by poetry or work ideas, spoken words. Poetry can be used for seduction or as a transportative device into the higher dimensions. It all depends on what you really want from it. In most cases, the seducer was someone they wouldn’t ordinarily even want to meet in a crowded elevator. There are millions of casual sexual predators out there, and flirtation is not yet outlawed, though it soon will be. Continue reading

Hunting Gear

dressshop

We all know the effects of aging, but if you’re out there on the ever-popular Mate-Market, age effects are anything but welcome. Let’s generate a short list of the biggest problems… okay, first on the list would be age lines, which includes crow’s feet, cracked lips, worry lines, frown lines and just plain pits, crags and crevices.

Then comes a parade of concerns: sagging breasts, butt and tummy; puffy eyes, mottled skin, corns, moles, cellulite, varicose veins and a variety of personal tragedies in the form of self-imagined “imperfections” and “blemishes”.

There are many thousands of remedies available to the elderly mate-hunter; first and foremost would be cosmetics, which can transform a person into someone they aren’t, as any movie-goer can tell you. In daylight, of course, the pumpkin reverts to type.

Continue reading