You’ll have to spend a bit of extra effort determining the nature of the table-game. If you’ve been haunting pool halls and billard parlors of late, you’ll know what I mean. If you watch attentively, you’ll note that there is a clearly evident absence of that tell-tale solid red ball. You see cue balls galore, but no solid red ball. Also note that she is not putting english on the ball…it’s going directly into the hole, not really the idea. She makes a better senior cougar than a pool shark.
Many years ago, as the crow flies and the water flows under the bridge and over the dam, I had a pet parakeet named Jimmy. The specific reason I had a parakeet and not a dog or cat was that we lived in Stuyvesant Town, a recently-built housing project in New York City’s lower east side. Continue reading
What ever happened to Charles Dodgson’s wonderful children’s masterpieces, written under the pseudonym (look it up, what am I, a walking dictionary???) Lewis Carroll — Alice’s Adventures Underground & What She Saw There, and Through the Looking Glass??? Continue reading
I figure you’ve noticed the movement toward big-breasted nearly-naked and even entirely naked women newscasters, anchorpersons, weather girls and spokespersons in commercials, but have you taken note of the sudden increase in the cup-size of said breasts, and the alarmingly exponential levels of nudity of these ample newsgirls?
Just in case you hadn’t, I thought I’d Continue reading
If you’ve got a cell-phone, you’re a movie producer, and if you’re on youtube,
you’re a television network all your own. Everybody’s publishing themselves
online now, and it’s just a matter of how dumb it is, if you want the massive
millions of hits. Whether they stay on the video is another matter. All we can
measure is the interest, not the effect.
Here’s a young girl with a camera and a hand-held beat-box, and very little
else in the way of assets.
Ever wonder which recipes were the most popular on youtube? Of course,
when searching, you have to get past the thousands of angry and insane
and annoying fruits & vegetables.
Here’s a partial answer to the most popular cooking recipes, in order of their
popularity:
How to make a Princess Doll Birthday Cake…
Let’s say you and your all-night party walk into an all-night diner that looks
like that famous one in the famous painting, you know which one I mean.
There’s nobody at the counter, but there is a fry-cook at the stove, so you
decide to shout out your order, because you know what your friends want,
and as a former “bubble dancer”, or dishwasher, also known as a Hydro-
Ceramic Engineer”, you happen to know restaurant slang!
“Hey,” you bark like a seasoned waiter or waitress, “Gimme a bowl o’ red,
clean up the kitchen, burn one, burn the British, wreck ’em with zeppelins in
a fog, irish turkey with a dog biscuit, cup o’ mud and a jack high & dry! Cow
feed bridge party, bossy in a bowl!”
What in hell did you just order, you ask… Well, here’s the breakdown:
A “bowl o’ red” is a bowl of red beans, generally Santa Fe style with plenty of
flavor and lots of chili peppers mixed in real good. A real bowl o’ red will take
the roof clean off your mouth and leave you with a cloud of steam rising
from the hole in your head.
“Clean up the kitchen” is the same as “gentleman will take a chance” — it’s
corned-beef hash. Beef on toast is, as you vets will know, “shit on a single”.
“Burn one” means to the short-order or fry cook “throw another burger on
the fire”, but “Burn the British” means to fork-split and toast an English
muffin.
“Wreck ’em with zeppelins in a fog” means that one of your companions is
fond of scrambled eggs with sausages in a mound of mashed potatoes.
“Irish turkey with a doggie biscuit” is restaurant lingo for corned beef &
cabbage with a cracker.
“Cup o’ mud is coffee, and a Jack is not jack cheese, as you’d maybe think,
but a grilled American cheese sandwich, named after comedian Jack
Benny, who made them famous with his radio commercial for Kraft cheese –
– oh, and your friend wants it “high and dry”, meaning without all the fancy
dressings and stuff.
That “cow-feed bridge party” means that four in your party want a salad
before their main course and you probably already figured out that “bossy in
a bowl” is a cow in a pot, meaning, of course, “beef stew”.
So, next time you’re in a restaurant, you’ll know how to ask for what you
want, as long as it’s one of the items I’ve mentioned above!
gorby
Who will be the next Susan Boyle?
You can bet dollars to donuts that there will be another Susan Boyle. But
which of the millions of upcoming performers will it be???
I hereby present as a possible candidate one Jamie Pugh, van driver by day,
pizza man by night, singer by good fortune, and here’s his story:
When you’re looking for gamelan, you’ll inevitably wind up with legong, the
dance that goes with gamelan orchestral music.
Here is a professional example:
Something you might look into…
Here’s a kid who was on the street since he was 5, spending his days as he
describes so vividly in this performance challenge. You’ll be surprised at the
power, range and simplicity of his singing voice. He ought to have a chance
to climb out of poverty with this talent…has he done so???