KMOB — MORE EPISODES
THE FAMILY BUSINESS
Live from Sal Palumbo’s Pork Store, New York City, 1958
What if the mob had its own public relations firm and radio broadcast station? What if it’s all out in the open, the way it is with today’s corruption? Crime in broad daylight.
I quite intentionally did not release these episodes to the general public. I’m not making fun of the mob, I’m laughing with it, but real comedy is no joke. My sole aim is to honor the profession.
I had many occasions in my very young days to interact with mobsters, because my grandfather paid them plenty to get his garments out of the factory and to market, and his friends got him prized boxing tickets at Madison Square Garden, which they now call “MSG”, like the seasoning.
I’ve been working on these additional episodes — I find them funny and satirical and full of parody and jest, and I intend to preview them with you at this morning’s workshop on zoom, see you there!
The racketeer’s business directory
THE RACKETEER’S DIRECTORY
Gangsters Make Trouble. Racketeers Make Money.
Protection: Pay us and nothing bad happens. Probably.
Loan-Sharking: Borrow a hundred, owe a thousand.
Illegal Gambling: The house always wins. The house has connections.
Numbers Racket: The neighborhood lottery, minus the government.
Labor Racketeering: Control the union, control the job.
Bid-Rigging: Everybody bids. The winner was chosen yesterday.
Construction: Concrete, contracts, kickbacks, and cousins.
Garbage Hauling: Your trash, our territory.
Gasoline Tax Fraud: Sell the gasoline, collect the tax, keep the tax.
Truck Hijacking: Merchandise that fell off a truck. Sometimes the whole truck.
Counterfeiting: Making money the old-fashioned way. Printing it.
Insurance Fraud: Accidents arranged in advance.
Bankruptcy Fraud: The company goes broke. The owner gets rich.
Stock Manipulation: Buy low, inflate high, sell fast.
Real Estate Fraud: Properties, mortgages, appraisals, and imaginary values.
Restaurant Skimming: The customers pay. The cash register forgets.
Bookmaking: Taking bets on everything, including who gets arrested next.
Fencing: Turning stolen merchandise into perfectly spendable cash.
Cargo Theft: Shipping and receiving, without the shipping company’s permission.
Political Corruption: Buying influence wholesale and selling favors retail.
THE GOLDEN RULE OF RACKETEERING:
Never steal a dollar once when you can collect a dime every week forever.
And remember: Gangsters make trouble. Racketeers make money.
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Hooray, here’s the Bardo bus now!!!
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See You At The Top!!!
gorby