Category Archives: Uncategorized

Decrypting the Cross-Harp Harmonica Code

October 15, 2013Uncategorizedbacking, ejgold, gorebagg, guitar, harmonica, harp, holiday, horn, key, Music, tracksgorebagg

I know what you’re wondering … what has overstuffed boobs to do with cross-harp harmonica? Beats me, but it does get the hits. Cross-Harp is easy to understand, if you know what happens when you blow or draw on a harmonica. Drawing produces opportunities for note-bending and other expressive and dynamic tricks that just won’t happen or won’t happen as well on the outbreath. Yes, we’re talking inbreath and outbreath here, and it’s all very esoteric, but that’s not enough to get us over the Sinister Barrier of incompetence…make that “rank incompetence”. Okay, so what IS cross-harping, anyway? Simply put, it’s playing the opposite side of the main guys. For instance, if the song is in the Key of A, let’s say, a 12-bar blues in A, then the harp player would want to play in D, to take the most advantage of the outbreath. Of course, one could hold onto an A and a D, one over the other, and take both sides, the straight key, and the cross-key; this can be very effective, but tends to create havoc in the new player. Look for my Cross-Harp Breakdown for more exact info on what harp to play across what, but here’s the gist of it:

G/C, A/D, Bb/Eb, B/E, C/F, D/G, Eb/Ab, E/A, F/Bb, F#/B, Db or C#/F# — and don’t hoc me in chaynekh that I included the F# — it’s a guitarist favorite, and you will eventually have to deal with it. I have a whole package in process for very, very advanced blues harp practice at home with my special “Lookin’ Good” Backing Tracks so stay tuned for most recent announcements…it’s happening hourly! I invented the backing track concept, and it makes you sound 1000 times better than you actually are!!! You will not believe how good you will sound on blues harp, the very first minute you play it, against my special backing tracks. Lookin’ Good ain’t the half of it. Pwn the Holidays with Gorby’s Lookin’ Good Backing Tracks for flute, harmonica, guitar, zen flute, recorder, horns and more!!!

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Don’t Change How You Play

October 15, 2013Uncategorizedballad, bluegrass, blues, country, dance, ejgold, folk, fusion, gorebagg, guitar, harmonica, harp, hip-hop, holiday, jazz, latin, Music, musicians, pop, r&b, reggae, rock, shnarggorebagg

ej at red house 1971 — photo by T. Jones

I’ve developed a method for playing guitar that allows you to play very sophisticated and difficult scales without having to learn new chords or retrain your fingers. You’ll use the following chords: E, Em, E7, A, Am, A7, B7, to play in almost all the keys. You will instantly be able to fake solo leads using my simple lead chart. You can’t make a mistake, there’s nothing to go wrong. Total simplicity is the key to this easy to learn guitar cheat. In addition, I’ve developed backing tracks that allow you to remain at your present undeveloped skill level while still sounding absolutely pro. You can use this for holiday gatherings, and blow the minds of friends and family with your apparent skills at blues, jazz, hip-hop, ballad, pop, dance, rock, r&b, latin, reggae, folk, bluegrass, fusion, country and more!!! Each backing track CD has an entire show of about a dozen tunes, and you’ll sound incredible on ALL of them, I guarantee it! You can order the CDs now — see the titles above to order. The CDs will be available in a few days. Download options are being explored even as we speak. Oh, I almost forgot to mention it, but I have a set of backing tracks that will make you sound like the greatest jazz and blues flute player on the planet. Coming soon, a set of backing tracks that will make you sound like the greatest blues harp player in the Western Rim of the Galaxy Milky Way (strictly a local name — we Outer Limits Folks (OLFs) refer to your galaxy as “Shnarg”. I won’t translate, for fear of reprisals.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

If God Dropped Acid, Would He See People???

October 12, 2013Uncategorizedacid, ejgold, god, gorebagg, peoplegorebagg

If God Dropped Acid, Would He See People??? If God sneezed, what would you say? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would anyone know? If you installed a skylight in your apartment, what would the upstairs neighbors say? Are Black Holes the places where God divided by zero? If you really did have everything, where would you put it all? Is there a lifeguard at the Gene Pool? If you buy dehydrated water, what do you add? What’s another word for Thesaurus? Would an Existential Map have “You Are Here” written all over it? Just remember that Anywhere Is Walking Distance From Here, if you’ve got the time.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Hunting Gear

October 7, 2013Uncategorizedashram, cosmetics, ejgold, gorebagg, life, love, makeup, marriage, mate, partner, reincarnation, soulmategorebagg

We all know the effects of aging, but if you’re out there on the ever-popular Mate-Market, age effects are anything but welcome. Let’s generate a short list of the biggest problems… okay, first on the list would be age lines, which includes crow’s feet, cracked lips, worry lines, frown lines and just plain pits, crags and crevices.

Then comes a parade of concerns: sagging breasts, butt and tummy; puffy eyes, mottled skin, corns, moles, cellulite, varicose veins and a variety of personal tragedies in the form of self-imagined “imperfections” and “blemishes”.

There are many thousands of remedies available to the elderly mate-hunter; first and foremost would be cosmetics, which can transform a person into someone they aren’t, as any movie-goer can tell you. In daylight, of course, the pumpkin reverts to type.

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Bohemian Rhapsody ala Petomane

October 7, 2013Uncategorizedbohemian rhapsody, ejgold, fart, gorebagg, Music, musician, sing, songgorebagg

This you hafta see. I was thinkin’ of some way to do this song — our band is nowhere near the skill level needed to even sing the thing in public, but this 2 million hit single in palm-farts takes the cake. I mean, how can you top this???

http://youtu.be/IOyEw9bT8yQ

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Government Meltdown Blues — Lyrics & Tabulature

October 5, 2013Uncategorizedblues, ejgold, faxl, gorebagg, government, misery, Music, musical, musician, shutdown, song, songwritinggorebagg

Government Meltdown Blues

( Bm – Em – Am7 – Bb7 )

I thought I’d weigh in on the subject of the most recent government shutdown as a result of a few nasty people in the well-publicized “Caucus Suicide Pact”, a power-hungry political conspiracy which is currently holding the rest of the country hostage.

(guitar lead short solo here)

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Hemp & Bamboo

October 1, 2013Uncategorizedmacklemore parodygorebagg

Like Bamboo, Hemp is a sort of be-anything-you-like-me-to-be, an Al Capp Shmoo-like creature. There are two hemp shops in Grass Valley, and another right down the road in Roseville. If you’ve never worn a pair of hemp socks, you aren’t familiar with the phrase, “Life is too short to drink bad wine.”. I eat hemp seeds in my salads every day, and just bought some bamboo socks which are also amazingly soft and close-fitting. Hemp has so many industrial uses that it’s impossible to list them, and had it not gotten banned along racial lines back in the day, it would be a normal part of our national economy, as our Founding Fathers predicted:

“Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp, and playing my Hohner harmonica.” – Abraham Lincoln (from a letter written by Lincoln during his presidency to the head of the Hohner Harmonica Company in Germany)

“Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.”
– Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President

“Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere.”
– George Washington, U.S. President

“We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.”
– John Adams, U.S. President

Garbage Guitar Cheats

September 30, 2013Uncategorizedejgold, gorebagg, guitar, Music, raggy, sing, song, tune, writegorebagg

http://youtu.be/155S86jPam8

Couldn’t resist posting this; not only is it a terrific method for taking it easy on the guitar, but the instructions contain the most basic secret of guitar I know — don’t bust yer chops where you don’t have to! Uncle Raggy expresses perfectly the most fundamental guitar principles I hold dear — where we differ is in the area of regret. He says he made a mistake in not mastering the guitar correctly. I always had a clear choice and carefully and consciously selected the path of “what sounds good to me” and what doesn’t bust my chops to make happen. Like Uncle Raggy, I never play the same song twice, even though I know it well enough to do so, because I follow the Navajo Rule of Music: “Listen to the whole, and adjust yourself accordingly.”. You would do well to watch Uncle Raggy’s videos — there’s more wisdom there than meets the eye directly. Somebody asked Uncle Raggy if he was familiar with a 60s song, and his reply echoes mine: “Does it look as if I missed the sixties???” Join us at the ICW, where we’ll explore some of the ideas behind the song. You can catch me at Club Leger from time to time the next few days — breaking in a new routine.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

GoreBagg 99 is Back in Town

September 26, 2013Uncategorizedbardo, d2, d3, diablo, ejgold, game, gamer, gaming, gorebagg, reincarnation, safarigorebagg

My deleted level 99, GoreBagg, is back in business, currently sitting at level 91, after a strong opening two weeks ago. Taking my time leveling, I’m also doing a lot of magic find for the folks coming up the line. We’re running lots of D2 safaris now that it’s very clear that we won’t be using D3 anytime soon. Had we known that Blizzard intended to scrub out any vestige of what made D2 charming, we’d have saved ourselves the trouble of the download and install, but we gave D3 a very fair chance — it was Blizzard that wanted to kill the game, and they managed to succeed eminently well. D3 is dead, long live D2.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Quarter Million Views for My 3 Chord Guitar Lesson

September 23, 2013Uncategorizedejgold, gorebagg, guitar, lessons, millions, youtubegorebagg

Yep, 184,639 views, almost a quarter of a million people have stopped by to take my simple 3 chord lesson. Is there anybody out there who would like to help me get these lessons out there to the millions who want them? Find out more at the ICW this coming week.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby