That’s right. No photo. Dammit, I just created the most amazing invention, The Mood-Altering Total Relaxation Collar, using my special handmade fast-reaction mood beads.
I have no photo of it, so I can’t post a photo of it. Bummer.
I know what you’re going to say. “Why not point your cell phone at the thing and post the .jpg on facebook or something.”, and I couldn’t agree more. It’s totally reasonable, except that I have no cell phone, and I wouldn’t know how to use one if I did, which I wouldn’t.
I don’t like cell phones, iPads, iPhones or computers in general, and it’s not just what they end up doing to rid themselves of the mass of humanity that clings to the surface of this little mudball of a tiny little rocky planet, third from the sun.
So forget the cell phone solution. It’s just not in the cards. Do your best to visualize it.
It’s true, I don’t really like the computer age, but I’m writing a blog at this very moment, and I’m doing it on my desktop, and that makes it obvious that it’s a computer.
Okay, so when it’s engaged in gameplay, I’m oblivious to the fact that it’s a computer. I can forget that for a little while, and just defend the Intel or go get the enemy Intel.
But when I’m composing a blog, it’s definitely a computer. It FEELS like a computer.
If nothing else tells me that it’s a computer, the KEYBOARD clacking away at lightning speed is a powerful hint.
So here I am, sitting at the computer writing a blog, with this Mood-Altering Total Relaxation Collar on my neck, and I have no photo.
What can I possibly say with words alone that will inspire you to get one of these things and wear it religiously???
Well, wait a moment, maybe I should choose my words more carefully. I didn’t mean “religiously”. What I meant is, you’ll put this collar on, when you sit down with the SuperBeacon, and you’ll pay super-attention to the effect.
If you have a SuperBeacon, I wish could send you one of my Mood-Altering Total Relaxation Collars in advance, on approval.
I would do exactly that, but I can’t afford to send out hundreds of these things and wait for a response, so I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to tell you in words alone, that will inform you enough, so that you can feel comfortable about sending for one right away, even though you haven’t seen it.
Keep in mind that this is not a fashion statement, although it looks really good on. It’s a work tool that automatically induces Total Relaxation.
Of course, if you’re screaming at the top of your lungs and beating the walls, it might take a while to take effect.
Okay, first I’d better tell you how much they cost. Wait a minute, I better mention that these are handmade beads and that they probably won’t be available forever, with the situation being what it is today.
In short, what I have on hand, I have on hand. What I don’t, I might or might not be able to obtain. It’s up to you whether you prefer to say “Gosh, I’m glad I got this,” and not “Gee, I wish I had.”.
Okay, so now that we’ve established that these beads are horrifically hard to find and that they might not be around much longer, I’ll tell you how much the collar costs.
In solid genuine authentic hardware store copper wire and exotic East Indian “hedgehog” beads, which take 18 months to get here, and I’m running out fast, the collar will set you back exactly $225.00 plus shipping, your choice of how it goes.
In heavy .20 gauge solid .925 sterling silver with exotic granulation silver beads, which I can’t get anymore anywhere, the collar will cost you $450.00.
If you need an extra-large collar, add $50 to cover the difference in silver. If you need a smaller collar, I need to know why. The standard collar fits just about any human female and many human males, with anywhere from 10 main beads to 14 main beads, each one of which is surrounded by silver side-beads and fillers.
It ain’t cheap to make, and most jewelers would not be able to make this. It takes 8,900 years of continual jewelry-making to gain these skills, or one really decent teacher over a period of about two hours on a Saturday or Sunday morning.
Gosh, that fits right in with my schedule!
So you can attend the ICW this upcoming Thanksgiving Weekend and you’ll see with your own screen what I’m talking about here.
Or you can order one, sight unseen. If you’ve ever tried any of my work tools before, you’ll know that they work, and that in fact, “The damn thing actually worked” is the chief complaint I get. What the Hell do people expect?
I guess they’re so conditioned to being ripped off that they automatically tip the scale in the overweight side of balance.
In short, I offer a money-back guarantee, of course. You will be delighted with the Collar. You won’t want to take it off, I promise!
But it’s not best practice to wear it around the house all day, unless you’re doing the “Every Day a Holy Day” practice, in which case you will want to wear it around the house all day long, or in the office or den or garage or basement or wherever you have your workstation.
Have I told you what you need to hear in order to send for one of these things? Just in case not, I’ll add a few more sales points:
- It’s exceptionally heavy to pick up, but once on, it fits smoothly and closely, like a soft chamois glove.
- The weight will calm you down.
- The positioning over the glandular system will calm you down some more.
- The color-changing mood beads will bring your emotional centrum into compliance.
- The artfully woven copper or silver will add their spiritual force to the composite effect.
- The circular pattern encourages a double helix rotation of energies through the collar, in both directions at once.
There are more factors involved in this what could be taken for a simple necklace, but it isn’t a necklace at all — it’s a special power-collar tuned to mood-changing total relaxation, and it works.
What more is there to say? Once you’ve tried it, you can add your own force to this offer by your encouragements and personal experiences personally experienced.
In short, send me your raves and I’ll post them on the landing page.
This invention ranks right up there with the ammy and the SuperBeacon and the Matrix. It will instantly empower your SuperBeacon sessions!
If you can’t rest easily, this collar is for you. Put it on and sit with the SuperBeacon for at least 3 minutes and notice the difference!
Just before lying down for a nap, put the collar on for a few moments. You will FEEL the difference right away!
Want to think out a problem? Taking a test? Need some fast inspiration? Put on the collar and realize the results.
Bad mood? Feeling lousy? Depressed? Miserable? Put on the collar and change your mood instantly and easily.
Sickness and misery surrounding you on all sides? Put on the collar and be free of fear. Need a miracle? Put on the collar and see what happens!
Trying to hit the “17/20” on the roulette wheel? There you’re on your own. The collar might help you stay somewhat calmer while you bend over the green felt table to rake in your winnings.
Oh, did you know that there are gambling websites all over the world, and they’re just sitting there, waiting for you to take them to the cleaners!
Then there’s the outfit that advertises money — it started with beads and shells and went to bronze and silver and gold, then paper money came along, and wiped out all VALUE, until the electronic money arrived on the scene.
Now you can have the security of owning millions and millions of electrons.
Want some real value? Put on the collar. Okay, maybe it won’t automatically attract massive wealth, it certainly can make you feel a whole lot better about not having any money — speaking of which, you might be wondering how come the collars are so expensive.
Well, they aren’t. It costs serious money to get the parts, and it adds up fast, when you’ve got a lot of beads on there, which I have.
So the end result is, $225 for the copper, $450 for the sterling silver, and availability rests on whim and vagaries of chance.
Right now, I can make them with what I’ve got on hand. After that, I can’t guarantee a thing.
Oh, the main beads are 12mm. That’s pretty big. And they’re relatively heavy, a lot heavier than most beads, but you won’t notice that at all when you’re wearing them.
Um, something else that happens when you wear them is that they quickly warm up and become very comfortable, almost numbingly so.
There’s a certain “dreaminess”, a feeling of warmth and cocoon-like safety when you’re wrapped in this protective shield, so it’s no wonder that you automatically allow yourself to relax.
The thing is, you relax almost to the point of not being ABLE to move a muscle. It happens really fast, spreads over you like a warm blanket.
It feels nice. Safe. Comfortable. Like I said, Totally Relaxing.
Try it, you’ll like it.
See You At The Top!!!
gorby