“Fresh Fish Sold Here Today” — but everyone knows it’s fresh — if not, I can’t sell it, nobody would eat it — and, of course “here”, where else? Today? Naturally today, so we don’t need THAT word in the sign. Come to think of it, who needs the word “sold” — what am I going to do, go broke in a single day by giving away all my fish? And as for the word “fish”, what? You can’t smell my fishmonger shop a block away???

So, okay I have a few items that I’m planning to make available, some sadly, but it must be done. My hands are no longer able to handle an acoustic steel-string guitar, so ALL my Martin guitars must go, and I’ve already given away “Betty”, my traveling guitar.

In her place I now have “ACE”, my traveling six-string uke, which weighs about a pound and takes up so little room, I can play while riding in the front seat of the car without whalloping the driver in the head.

Golfer runs into the clubhouse and screams hysterically, “I think I just killed my partner on the third tee, with my golf club!” — everyone froze in shock.

“Calm down,” the pro suggested, “which club was it?”

“The niblick,” came back the shaky answer.

The golf pro nodded reassuringly — “That was the right club,” he said with a smile.

Another golfer runs up to the pro and shouts, “My shot went wild to the right and smashed a bus window. The bus crashed. There are a lot of injured. What should I do?”

“Well,” the pro asserted, “To begin with, you should shorten up a little and get your stance, swing and ball approach adjusted.”

Some of us think life’s a bit like that. So instead of presenting what I’d prefer to present, which is a dissertation on types of luck and lucky streaks, I’m putting up a few items for sale, anticipating the Labor Day Weekend Camping & Hiking Workshop.

I’d love to see these items go soon, so I can purchase what I’ll need for the presentations, and please, please don’t do me any favors — these instruments and other items need good homes, and they need to be IN USE, and presently they’re not, and in any future, they won’t be used by me. If a guitar is not used, it will check & crack — it NEEDS to be handled and sounded and used, and I’m not doing my job in respect to the steel string guitars — they’re just sitting there in a case, neglected but not forgotten.

I need to find good homes for them, and that’s what I’m trying to do. First of all, I priced comparable items, then priced them here at the friendly side of the bottom of the market. These are all asking prices — you can always make an offer. If I can make it happen, I will.

• MARTIN HD-28 VDE VINTAGE — $4,500.00 — This is my baby, and I’ve told the story many times about my first experience with a Martin D-28 at Carol Hunter’s house back in the 1950s. I am the original owner and the only player on this guitar. It comes with the original case, and was one of the guitars considered for the CSN line, rejected for CSN but ONLY because the edition limitation had been reached. Probably the best guitar you’ll ever play or own. This guitar is BRAND NEW, played only a short time before my fingers gave out on ANY steel string acoustic guitar.
• MARTIN D-16 — $3200.00 is the market price, but I only want $2200.00 for it, because that’s all I have in it. This guitar has been played but seldom, and is in “Like New” condition. It has a deep, rich sound, as you’d expect from any Martin dreadnought.
• RICHARD NOYES ARCHED TOP GUITAR — Handcrafted by one of the greatest guitar makers in the world, and he happens to live nearby. Valued today at $3200.00 new, this VINTAGE Noyes Guitar would bring much more, but I have only $2000.00 in this guitar, so would be willing to sell it for that.

I also have a number of other items, notably rifle, bird-style long shotgun, profound air rifle with scope and 700 meter accuracy to bullseye of standard rifle target, all of which are now impossible for me to use, and all are for sale, subject to all Federal & State laws, all transactions to be handled through a licensed dealer, who can ship to you, etc.

I would never own a firearm or any other weapon for the purpose of killing anything — they are strictly for the development of skills, period, and my best skills are not in shooting, but in fast-draw and twirling, and that’s the hobby I promoted when younger.

These days, those things are not in my immediate future, although in the 27th and 28th centuries we do a LOT of shooting and yelling and such, but that’s such a long way off, why store them, when I can pick them up off the ground after the Battle of Washington Heights in 2933 New Calendar.

Pope Gerry III brings that war to a close, as I recall from my 37th century history textbook, and she is the intermediary they call “The Last Pope”, because that’s just ahead of The Second Coming, which doesn’t go anything LIKE the way John had it, but who cares about facts, when there’s a good story to be told?

Ooops, ran right into showtime,

See You At The Top!!!

gorby