If God Dropped Acid, Would He See People???

October 12, 2013Uncategorizedacid, ejgold, god, gorebagg, peoplegorebagg

If God Dropped Acid, Would He See People??? If God sneezed, what would you say? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would anyone know? If you installed a skylight in your apartment, what would the upstairs neighbors say? Are Black Holes the places where God divided by zero? If you really did have everything, where would you put it all? Is there a lifeguard at the Gene Pool? If you buy dehydrated water, what do you add? What’s another word for Thesaurus? Would an Existential Map have “You Are Here” written all over it? Just remember that Anywhere Is Walking Distance From Here, if you’ve got the time.

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Hunting Gear

October 7, 2013Uncategorizedashram, cosmetics, ejgold, gorebagg, life, love, makeup, marriage, mate, partner, reincarnation, soulmategorebagg

We all know the effects of aging, but if you’re out there on the ever-popular Mate-Market, age effects are anything but welcome. Let’s generate a short list of the biggest problems… okay, first on the list would be age lines, which includes crow’s feet, cracked lips, worry lines, frown lines and just plain pits, crags and crevices.

Then comes a parade of concerns: sagging breasts, butt and tummy; puffy eyes, mottled skin, corns, moles, cellulite, varicose veins and a variety of personal tragedies in the form of self-imagined “imperfections” and “blemishes”.

There are many thousands of remedies available to the elderly mate-hunter; first and foremost would be cosmetics, which can transform a person into someone they aren’t, as any movie-goer can tell you. In daylight, of course, the pumpkin reverts to type.

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Bohemian Rhapsody ala Petomane

October 7, 2013Uncategorizedbohemian rhapsody, ejgold, fart, gorebagg, Music, musician, sing, songgorebagg

This you hafta see. I was thinkin’ of some way to do this song — our band is nowhere near the skill level needed to even sing the thing in public, but this 2 million hit single in palm-farts takes the cake. I mean, how can you top this???

http://youtu.be/IOyEw9bT8yQ

See You At The Top!!!

gorby

Government Meltdown Blues — Lyrics & Tabulature

October 5, 2013Uncategorizedblues, ejgold, faxl, gorebagg, government, misery, Music, musical, musician, shutdown, song, songwritinggorebagg

Government Meltdown Blues

( Bm – Em – Am7 – Bb7 )

I thought I’d weigh in on the subject of the most recent government shutdown as a result of a few nasty people in the well-publicized “Caucus Suicide Pact”, a power-hungry political conspiracy which is currently holding the rest of the country hostage.

(guitar lead short solo here)

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Hemp & Bamboo

October 1, 2013Uncategorizedmacklemore parodygorebagg

Like Bamboo, Hemp is a sort of be-anything-you-like-me-to-be, an Al Capp Shmoo-like creature. There are two hemp shops in Grass Valley, and another right down the road in Roseville. If you’ve never worn a pair of hemp socks, you aren’t familiar with the phrase, “Life is too short to drink bad wine.”. I eat hemp seeds in my salads every day, and just bought some bamboo socks which are also amazingly soft and close-fitting. Hemp has so many industrial uses that it’s impossible to list them, and had it not gotten banned along racial lines back in the day, it would be a normal part of our national economy, as our Founding Fathers predicted:

“Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp, and playing my Hohner harmonica.” – Abraham Lincoln (from a letter written by Lincoln during his presidency to the head of the Hohner Harmonica Company in Germany)

“Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.”
– Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President

“Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere.”
– George Washington, U.S. President

“We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.”
– John Adams, U.S. President