Naturally, you’re going to want to know exactly what your Operating Level might be, so you have a clear idea of what armor you are able to wear, what weapons you can bear, what magical items you are able to use … so I’ve devised a short test that will help you sort all that out and come up with a composite number that will reflect your Cloak-Wearing Capacity.
Which best describes your Strength?
- I could take down a roomful of Ninjas.
- I can effortlessly tear a telephone directory in half.
- I’m able to press my own weight on the barbells.
- I can throw a rock more than 30 yards.
- I can carry any backpack for any length of time and distance.
- I am able to lift fairly heavy things.
- I can barely push my way through a subway turnstile or a revolving door.
- Swinging a baseball bat can often throw me off-balance.
- I’m barely able to stand, walk or keep my eyelids open.
- Sleeping pills don’t seem to work — I keep waking up every few days.
Which best describes your Dexterity?
- I move like a fog across the landscape.
- I am one with the flow.
- I can dodge incoming projectiles, catch them and return them.
- I can hit the side of a barn, but nothing smaller.
- I can almost catch a ball if it’s thrown real slowly.
- My reactions are slow, and I stumble once in a while.
- I have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time.
- I can’t seem to get up out of this comfy chair.
- I’m totally paralyzed by life, frozen by fear and uncertainty.
Which best describes your health picture?
- I am a God.
- Unstoppable and Immortal.
- Never fatigued or worn-down.
- Immune to most illnesses.
- Able to stay awake and alert for days on end.
- I get sick once in a while.
- Every Flu season, I manage to come down with it.
- I have every disease known to Man.
- I collapse at the impact of a slight incoming breeze.
- What immune system???
Which best describes your Intelligence?
- I am apparently an enigma, an unknowable genius.
- I am one of the smartest people most people have ever met.
- I am able to make powerful leaps of logic beyond senses and the mind.
- I solve puzzles easily — give me another!
- I can easily follow complex trains of thought.
- I see patterns in ideas and logic in mathematics.
- I tend to mispronounce words a lot and prefer mottos to whole sentences.
- I use wild gesture to try to express what I can’t find the words to say.
- I can’t seem to string two words together without getting snarled up.
- I tend to make things up because I remember nothing and know nothing.
Which best describes your Wisdom?
- I am able to reason well and make fair and balanced decisions.
- I can see very small differences in Reality-Streams.
- I respond well to hunches and won’t go where it doesn’t feel right.
- I can sense when someone is in pain and needs help.
- I can make reasonable decisions most of the time.
- I act in haste and never consider the consequences of action or speech.
- Common sense seems to elude me somehow.
- I don’t seem to notice or care that World News happens every day.
- I never wonder about how others are doing.
- I live in the “dialtone” range of human consciousness most of the time.
Which best describes your Charisma?
- I am known as a positive and compassionate leader.
- I am respected by everyone I know.
- I am the life of the party.
- I am interesting to others.
- I am able to influence others through personal magnetism & charm.
- I am a regular chat-bot filled with ready tape loops.
- I am boring and uncomfortable around people.
- I can’t seem to convince anyone that I’m actually here.
- I give orders, but nobody follows them.
- I seem to be unable to get the townspeople to react to a Martian invasion.
Which best describes your collaboration?
- I give plenty of space and always enjoy a collaboration effort.
- I appreciate others and their contributions.
- I always listen to the advice of others and take it seriously.
- I have reservations about the abilities of others.
- I don’t like most of what others do.
- I can’t stand the stupid mistakes others make.
- I have no patience for stupid people, and they’re ugly, too.
- I can’t work with others.
- I have no time to think about it now.
- Leave me alone, dammit.
Which best describes your Skills?
- I seem to be able to do just about anything totally effortlessly and naturally.
- I can do pretty much anything with a little practice.
- I have high skills in certain areas.
- I have a high skill in one area.
- I have some abilities, some skills, I guess I could do a few things.
- My skills are rather limited.
- My one skill consists of lighting the barbecue on Saturday.
- I have acquired no skills of note.
- I have acquired no skills at all.
- What is a skill?
Which best describes your Ethics?
- Give me Liberty, or give me Death.
- You’ll never get me to betray my ideals.
- I can’t be bought.
- My integrity is unquestioned.
- Everyone admires my integrity.
- I have integrity on most issues.
- My integrity has broken now and then under stress or pressure.
- I have integrity somewhere, but I can’t remember where I put it.
- Integrity and I have differences of opinion.
- I’m ready to sell out if only I can find a buyer.
Which best describes your Perseverance?
- I never give up.
- I am a pit bull.
- I stay on target no matter what else happens.
- I am dogged and determined.
- Most of the time, I’m able to see something through.
- I can get most of the way, but then I sort of fade.
- My perseverance is well-known for its absence.
- I can keep going as long as I don’t get hungry, tired or bored.
- I am easily distracted.
- What was the question?
Which best describes your Honesty?
- Father, I cannot lie; I chopped down the cherry tree.
- I am constitutionally unable to lie.
- I don’t even tell a fib.
- I am known by my friends as a truth-teller.
- I always check my sources.
- Once in a while, I might lie to cover something mildly embarrassing.
- Would you believe me if I told you I mostly never lie?
- I haven’t lied today, but I did invent some alternate facts.
- I am Fake News Personified.
- This itself is a lie.
END OF TEST.
We could add a few more areas of inquiry into this, but all we really need is a general idea of the present condition of the Character, meaning the Human Biological Machine.
This list of Character Attributes or something very similar to it would be familiar to most gamers, especially those who are old enough to remember tabletop gaming when it was at its peak, back in the days of Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, both of whom were playing pals back in the day — they introduced me to their game when they first developed it and issued little staple-bound paperback pamphlets explaining the rules of the game.
It’s always best to keep it simple.
To derive a test score from this ultra-short questionnaire, we’ll need some answers. In a few days or so, hopefully, we’ll have an interactive online version of this that you can score for yourself, to find out at which Level your Character is playing now.
Once we get you armored up, we can then find out how far you can take it and what your tolerance is for increased stress-load and personal challenge.
Have I forgotten about the tragedy on The Hill, the repeal without replace bill and all that sort of rubbish? As I’ve said, a well-run government ought not to be in your face making headlines every hour on the hour 24/7, but this one is and does and no, I’ve not forgotten, but I HAVE to ignore it if I’m to accomplish anything at all during my work day and yes, I’m still working at almost 76, because I want to, but also very much because I have to, just as you maintain two or more jobs to keep your household together.
Soon, we won’t have to worry about any of that, because we won’t have medical coverage. That means many folks will die on the hospital steps.
Might as well march on Washington, right?
Don’t get caught up in the hysteria and mounting fear and anger and tribalism. Like they say in Star Wars, “Stay on target”, meaning keep cool and don’t give in to the Dark Side — that would be basically grabbing a torch and pitchfork and joining the swarming mob.
Public stonings are making a comeback. If Steve Bannon has his way, I’ll be in the middle of the one he’s leading.
So what? Big deal. The most they can do is kill you. Leave, come back in and wipe them all over the map, yes?
Learn to leave it alone. No sense punishing a machine for behaving like a machine, or scolding an animal for lashing out as animals tend to do when scared.
I should quote President Trump’s own words to Paul Manafort: “Am I a fucking baby, Paul?”
God, I wish someone had the guts to tell him the truth. He needs to calm down. They all need to calm down.
Then I’ll calm down.
Until then, I’ll champion The Four Freedoms and America over Trump Amerika. I was going to sing “Trump Amerika Uber Alles” until I realized that no one today would get the irony, and the song would probably become horribly and painfully popular.
That’s the risk of playing the sarcasm card with a bunch of dummies, and Republicans certainly count among the dummies, but then, “all politicians are crooks”, as several high-ranking politicians on Capitol Hill were reported to complain — I guess about themselves.
See You At The Top!!!