Accessorizing for the Hell World

Make an annoying video or videogame ridiculing Trump, that’ll set you free!!!

You’re here in the Hell World and I can prove it in two words: Donald Trump. Sure, everybody on the street and in the workplace make fun of him — he is funny, looks funny, acts funny and his blustery aggression just makes it funnier.

No wonder he becomes a Person of Ridicule as the years pass. Back in the 37th century, which means “just outside the SIM”, we have records of phrases from the 21st century, one of which is “Don’t Be A Trump!” and “Hey, don’t Trump me, Bro!”.

I came here to find out about those expressions as part of my Term Paper for history class, which is who is in this SIM besides me — there are 35 other class members in here, making it very, very crowded.

There are 7.2 billion humans on Planet Earth right now, but that’s being handled.

Never you mind about that. You must learn to IGNORE WASHINGTON, ignore North Korea, ignore Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, UAR, all the countries that act up and sound fierce.

You probably don’t know what to do in the face of it — you’re suddenly on the “wanted” list, like someone whose palm-gem has suddenly turned red long before Last-Day and Carousel.

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You will try your very best to ignore them.

If you don’t learn to ignore them, you’ll follow step by step as they destroy the offices of government, allow a crook and liar to remain in total domination and power, and as they take away all your healthcare and social security, leaving you broke and penniless on the street.

The only alternative for you at that point will be to march obediently and subserviently to the nearest Infrastructure Recruiting Station, where you will be given food, clothing and work breaking rocks and smoothing down tar and asphalt.

Are you afraid of Trump? You should be. Are you terrified of the monsters in Congress who are shredding you to bits in your old age and infirmity? You have every right to be terrified — they are, in their own way, terrorists, spreading terror into the hearts of older citizens who expect to lose the little they have left so the very rich can have even more.

Hold onto that terror, because it will help you work.

You haven’t the willpower or the determination to do the spiritual practices you need to do in order to progress to the next level but, thanks to Donald J. Trump, you no longer need the willpower and determination to do anything, including get off opiods.

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Fear will drive you where all else will fail.

Do as your President does five hours a day, which is, sit in front of the TV and watch the newscasts on all the stations, especially the oddball freaky fringe stations that feature “Real News” as opposed to “Mainstream Media” and “Fake News”.

It’s important to remember as you’re watching these widely varying but equally charged news outlets that NO ONE IN THE TRUMP SUPPORT BASE ever ever watches anything other than FOX News.

Watch Everything.

Each segment is rebroadcast at least three times daily, so you won’t miss anything — If you watch FOX News, CNN and MSNBC, you’ll get a bellyful, enough to drive you right through Hell and into Heaven.

There’s plenty to drive you nuts, totally over the edge, into paralysis and hysteria — hysterical paralysis is the inevitable result, and that’s why you can barely drag yourself to work in the morning, because it’s all so hopeless.

Don’t neglect the FEARMONGERS themselves. Steve Bannon is a good example of a racist bastard who has you earmarked for migration to the extermination camps.

Steven Bannon is a zealous persecutor of every minority known to Man, and he’s plenty big, ferocious and totally scary. Just one look at that mug, and you’ll tremble nonstop until he goes away, and you just hope he wanders off before he punches you in the face, like his boss did to that CNN newscaster at that wrestling match.

I would be physically overwhelmed by Trump, but I could easily outwit him as I lie there getting punched in the face like his other victims at those wrestling matches, cockfights and dog fights that he hosted and from which he profited greatly.

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He really did hit that guy.

It wasn’t a gimmick. It was real. Trump is very, very violent, and if he were unchecked, he literally WOULD shoot someone on Fifth Avenue as he bragged he would, just to show how loyal his “Base” is to him.

They believe him. What does that make them?

Trump supporters should also scare you, perhaps to death, but never fear; the most they can do to you is kill you, and they’ve done that before and here you are to tell the tale, because you have an existence outside the physical realm, and they don’t. They’re part of it.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, but it might help to learn that most everyone you see or meet or become aware of is a bot, either red or blue — those are the two choices, other than green, and you wouldn’t want to go there.

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Immutable Stupidity.

You can’t change them, reprogram them or redirect them. They are WRITTEN to be like that. Don’t get me started on how stupid they are, but if they weren’t, they wouldn’t do like they do, and there’d be no conflict, and therefore, no story.

No story wouldn’t do at all. Not after the whole Big Bang Thing and all. I mean, that’s a lot of work for “no story”, don’t you think?

You probably would rather not know about what’s happening in the world right now, isn’t that true? You most likely can barely keep yourself working at your day job just for the fear and anxiety and trembling, knowing there’s more bad news in store for you when you sit down to eat your dinner.

It can help to watch the news while eating dinner — gets the gas going, the indigestion and sense of incompleteness, that horrible feeling of depression combined with loss of energy while digesting the food.

Watch the news, get sick over the news, eat while you’re getting sick over the news, this is a recipe for success in my book of sorcery and magic.

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Of course, it’s natural.

You want to go numb, to forget, to sleep, perchance to dream, but no — you really don’t want to do that. You have a fantastic opportunity, but you have to LEARN how to take advantage of it, because it’s counter-survival.

What I mean is, you need to be both super-aware of the danger from Washington and also at the same time super-courageous in order to overcome the fear engendered by the said super-awareness.

Keep in mind that Trump & Friends could easily be at this for more than a decade, long past your lifespan under the present conditions, so don’t fret, they’ll get you dead sooner or later, that is their plan. One less Democratic Voter.

I’m not kidding, but don’t let that get you uptight. Humans are brutal, mean and nasty, and all politicians are crooks.

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Again, this is none of your concern.

At the same time, they’re putting the screws to you so tight that you can’t move. The chains binding you don’t allow any personal freedom. You are a total slave to the whim and whimsy of the Members of Congress.

I note that “members” has at least two meanings, as does “congress”, and they seem to go together as strange bedmates.

You’re not even real to them, just a number in a bunch of statistics. Their whole purpose in life is to get re-elected, not to serve.

Keep that in mind. It will drive you into a rich frenzy of fear, giving you even more power to drive your work, going forward at the end of the day.

“By their mindless slogans thou shalt know them”, some wise saint or other must have said at one time or another about the bots calling themselves “human”, haw, haw.

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Of course I laugh.

This is deadly serious, they play for keeps, they have not a single notion of “kindness” or “courtesy” or “respect” — they not only don’t play by the rules, they deliberately break them if they can.

They are cheaters.

They cheat, they steal, they kill — well, not actually kill, they ORDER the deaths and others carry out their commands.

Speaking of commanders, Trump is Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces and nobody can counteract or refuse his orders anywhere along the Chain of Command. I know my Army Field Manuals by heart.

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Doesn’t that scare you?

My God, if it doesn’t, you mustn’t read any further — get help immediately, and report to your local game warden for a proper dressing-down.

Okay, so how about this? A group of people at the White House are planning to deny voting rights to certain “inferior” citizens, and when that has taken its toll, they plan to round up all the “undesirables” and put them to work until they die of exhaustion and starvation, and this time there won’t be any Amerikans to liberate the camp before they die, and that will eventually include you and your family.

It will also include the people who originally put Trump into power, but he can’t let them put someone else into power if they decide they don’t like him anymore, so his paranoia leads him to order their extermination,¬† also.

I know, this sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it? That’s because you read “Diary of Anne Frank” or watched “Why We Fight”.

Now that you have allowed yourself to sink into a total frenzy of fear and suffering, and you’re just sitting there waiting to die, you have the additional opportunity of putting your fear on steroids.

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How to put your Fear on Steroids:

Nothing could be simpler. First, you’ll want to gear up for psychic protection against unwanted influences and energies. That having been done as best you can, and with the idea firmly planted in your mind that you’ll never get out of this life alive anyhow, you can work the fear up to a fever pitch with the simple expedient of making yourself part of the game.

It doesn’t seem so, and Trump would never admit it, but you have the right to speak up and say what’s on your mind, as long as it doesn’t incite to riot or advocate violence, at least that’s what it says on the paper in the Rotunda of the Capitol building, but I digress.

Ramping up your fears is easy. Merely write a blog on the subject of what it is you’re afraid of, such as losing your pension, losing your medicare or medicaid or medical treatments or home helpers or medicines or food and shelter.

All that was promised to you if you worked hard all your life and behaved yourself is now taken away by those bastards in Washington, all for greed, all for money.

So here you are with a busted bank account because of medical bills, a mortgage three months in arrears, a car you can’t drive because you can’t afford to get it registered this year, and your grandkids have moved back in with you because they have nowhere else to go.

Write a blog about what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, what you’d like to say. Now that’s just the first step toward increasing your fear into unbelievable heights and depths.

It’s not enough to sit around waiting passively and uncomplainingly for the meatwagon to arrive to take you away when you finally do succumb to the wishes of your government and go ahead and die.

Like I said, one less Democratic voter, and that’s all to the good, from the perspective of the present Congress and White House, and plenty of folks in the “Red States” agree with them and would just as soon see you dead.

That’ll shut you up.

They will never complain, even when they’re told to march themselves into the crematoriums scattered all over the landscape.

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What is the correct move?

The right move here is to whip out a guitar and start singing some songs from my Protest Songbook. You will soon have the attention of any Trump supporters, and your deathwish will be swiftly fulfilled with or without your consent.

For they are prone to violence, are they not?

Okay, well, then, how about using that to add energy to your fear? You can increase the load and stress and worry by making some funny novelties and t-shirts to put up on eBay and Amazon and, of course, facebook.

Use your store as a platform for political comment. It doesn’t have to be inflammatory, and in fact should definitely NOT be inflammatory — keep your comments as unbiased as possible, and don’t worry, your words will be totally tweaked to mean the very opposite.

I told you they cheat. They admitted that they were lawyers.

If they didn’t cheat, they couldn’t win, not ever. They’re lousy gamers, but don’t tell them I said so or they might very well send the Black Maria van down my driveway to take me away to the Salt Mines, and no, I’m not kidding — nobody’s willing to work in there except prisoners.

Oh, gosh, I suppose it’s now too late, they probably read that previous comment and are well on their way toward some sort of foul mayhem.

Well, there you go, that’s yet another excellent method of increasing your fear — do something annoying to the Far Right, and almost anything other than animal instinct will suffice, and sit there and wait for the aforementioned “Black Maria” to arrive.

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Or a tank.

Claudio woke up one morning in Arica, Chile, to find himself staring down the gigantic barrel of a 105 mm cannon, his house surrounded by tanks. He was allowed to leave, but they could just as easily have left him for dead — they didn’t, because he had friends in America who would have acted had he been harmed.

This is slowly happening in Trump Amerika. Human Rights violations could easily include you, and this effect can be further heightened by the addition of yet another element to the stew:


I know it sounds absurd to you that anyone would be thoroughly upset and emotionally destroyed by someone making fun of them, ridiculing them, but it’s true.

Emotionally undeveloped people, such as your classic NPD, will be terribly upset, even become violent and deadly, when confronted with humor about themselves.

Believe me, in their world, nothing about them is funny, and nothing about them should be funny.

Someone who is very immature and very insecure will find ridicule unbearable, and will without a doubt mercilessly and utterly savagely attack the offender, which Trump does all the time.

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You can count on it.

Haw, haw, haw, so frigging predictable. Okay, so you get yourself onto a talk show and tell them everything you’ve been thinking and feeling about the situation, then sit back and wait for results.

You will soon be on a very special list of targeted persons. You might find yourself under a barrage of all sorts of media attacks from government trolls such as Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the most clearly vicious liar of them all, Kellyanne Conway, a woman with no shame.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders I didn’t mention, because clearly she has no reason to be offended by misogyny, but Kellyanne Conway looks pretty good for her age and weight.

Haw, haw, haw, do like the President. Imitate your role-model, Donald Trump, haw, haw. Do like he does, lie like he does, cheat like he does and play dirty tricks like he does, and pretty soon you’ll end up either as President of the United States, or you’ll be in jail.

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I’m betting on the latter.

Had I done anything remotely like Team Trump did during the campaign and following the election and oath of office when I was in any of the government jobs I held both on the lightside and darkside, I’d have been at LEAST fired, but more probably put in chains, but you won’t see that happen to anyone in the Trump Administration — he’s ready to pardon anyone who gets caught red-handed with him.

“Red-Handed” was a TIME magazine cover regarding the Trumpies, remember? Probably not, but you’d be well-served to be more aware of the insanity so you can use the power of fear to drive you even further toward the Next Level and away from Planet Earth forever.

By the time Trump is finished with you, you will have no taste for life on Earth.

This is a good thing.

You couldn’t ask for a more Buddhist approach to goverment political power. You get what you want — Liberation — and they get what they want¬† — money and power.

Money and power. Lotta good it’ll do them at the last moment of life, haw, haw. Of course, you yourself have got to be at that “fuck you” stage of life that isn’t impressed by anything, even the threats from Washington to take you off medical coverage entirely for the short remainder of what’s left of your miserable life.

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It works just to remind yourself of what’s going on right now in your hometown, while mean people in Washington are doing everything they can to screw you up and take what little you have left.

Haw, haw, haw, if that don’t spark you into action and propel you into the Next Level, what the heck will???

Still feeling logy, lethargic, unable to cope?

There are a few more remedies that will help you achieve undreamed-of levels of personal fear and aggravation, and we’ll be covering all of them in the upcoming “SurvivalCon”, where you’ll learn to endure Trump for the sake of your spiritual development.

Endure, endure, endure.

Meanwhile, sing those folk songs, tell those stories, don’t let them shut you up. Use it or lose it, and that includes Freedom of Speech. If you allow Trump to convince you that you have no rights, you won’t have any rights at all, and he wins the game by cheating and intimidating and in the end, throwing the game board upside down.

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Haw, haw, haw.

You gotta get the right angle to see the humor in this stuff. Trump was easy to write, just a few tweaks to the youngster at the formative age of 5, a trauma involving his father and success and winning and loyalty, which has been the driving force in his life ever since.

Not bad for a few lines of type, eh? That’s all it took in his .ini file to make him jump and squirm like that. He hates to be alone, is afraid to die alone, and guess what happens to him in the end?

I won’t tell, because the story should unfold itself, not be summarized by an editor. Still, it’s a funny tale, and one worth retelling again and again, and that’s what this SIM is all about. You want more? Then you gotta get outta The Tank, meaning the SIM.

But how?

Haven’t you been paying attention? By provoking yourself into the Next Dimension, that’s how, using the Fabulous Force of Fear.

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Fabulous Force of Fear?

Yeah, you heard me right. Fabulous Force of Fear, “the three Fs”, as we say. Actually, it’s spelled “f-f-f” and properly pronounced “Fuh, fuh, fuh”.

If you’ve ever heard Country Joe MacDonald or Eddie Murphy in concert, you’ll have the sound just perfectly right — try to achieve the same tones.

Fear is the Great Driver.

Pain is the Great Teacher. You always learn from pain. You’ll never stop putting that bobby pin into the electric socket until you’re blown halfway across the state line and you’re lying there trying to stop smoking.

Smoking is a terrible habit, especially if it comes out of the top of your head.

Okay, so between your blogs, your folksinging, your poetry readings and political rally activities, you watch CNN, FOX News and CNBC until you feel the rage, the helplessness, the utter despair.

Now, TAKE A STAND. Join any side, it doesn’t matter which one, but the easiest to use for this exercise is always the Underdog, and that would be YOU, and anyone like yourself. If you’re old, poor and ill, you are definitely a target of the politicians and rest assured that they really do want you dead.

Once you are convinced that they really do intend to kill you through lack of medical coverage, you’re ready for the final phase, where you overcome your rage and sense of unfair play and betrayal, and go for the throat, philosophically speaking, which means you turn the bad shit into good shit.

You’ll quickly learn how to convert bad vibes into healing and helping vibes, just by becoming a target of their aggression and meanness. Okay, get a really good, deep sense of persecution, and DON’T LET GO OF THAT for the duration of the exercise.

Now you’re ready to get to work. Here’s a set of instructions that, if you follow them to the letter and get some PRO COACH training, might perhaps very well do you some good before they succeed at killing you off:

How to Become a Pinko Liberal in 30 Seconds Flat:

  1. ARMOR UP — Don something, like a Cloak that’s onsale this week, save $$$.
  2. PREPARE THE CHAMBER — Incense, candle, the usual. Ring bell, you know, the usual.
  3. WALK THE ROUNDS — First Widdershins then Deosil, counterclockwise and clockwise, and then, remaining anxious and agitated, try to settle down.
  4. CHARGE AND INVEST THE ACCESSORIES — Charms, Rings, Bracelets, Watch, etc. and get them on, doing your Special Breathing as you perform this task.
  5. GET ONTO THE SUPERBEACON — Now you’ll have the thrill of fear to drive you farther than you’d otherwise be willing to go!
  6. GO ALL THE WAY — Get into Satori and Cosmic Consciousness to get a perspective on the whole deal, then if you’re able, RISE FROM THE TANK for just a moment to look around, assure yourself that you are actually outside the SIM, and then allow yourself to sink back into the slime once again, where you’ll see Donald J. Trump and his minions dancing about on the White House lawn or having a Victory Drink at the Rose Garden.
  7. COME BACK AGAIN — Repeat this effect as often as you’re inclined to do so. Keep in mind that YOU are in total control of your trip, no matter how it looks from inside the SIM. You can run the Orb “Oval Office” to help you get Out of Body for a while.
  8. HAVE COMPASSION — Donald Trump is part of the machine, as are most of the NPCs that you’ll encounter in-game, including ALL psychiatrists. Psychiatry is a joke that was written into the game a couple of years ago, and it works, so we left it in.

It’s so important to DON’T GIVE UP THE SHIP!

Keep up your daily practice, as outlined above, and keep up the pace. Never stop making fun of Trump, never cease to ridicule him, to belittle him, to make him nothing and less than nothing.

Believe me, when the Sun explodes 4.6 billion years from now, people will have pretty much forgotten most of what’s happening now on the Washington scene.

As someone from outside the SIM, it really isn’t any of your concern.

But you can MAKE it your concern, get people annoyed at your outspokenness and willingness to engage in dialectic discussions and energetic debate. Engage, engage, engage. Try sitting or lying down in front of an armored vehicle at your local protest rally, that always gets a laugh.

If you can manage to enrage every NUT-JOB in the Trump Camp, which is easily achievable with the invention of a simple video game or the release of a funny viral video on youtube, you just might achieve your goal, which will then be “a total cure for paranoia”.

Paranoia is, technically speaking, “An unreasonable completely groundless fear or fears”. Hell, take away the “groundless” and you’ve got a cure for paranoia!

If they really are after you, you are no longer paranoid. Your fears are justified. You are cured.

You’re quite welcome. You have just saved 3 to 5 years in Deep Analysis. Send your donation to the usual place.

See You At The Top!!!