ESCAPE! Videos #4

This video was posted by Yanesh — I’d never seen it either. I hope you enjoy it. I’m NOT a drummer by any stretch of the imagination. Actually, I’ve only ever played kit drums a few dozen times, always just for fun, like this little practice session you see here.

But what about all that stuff that’s happening right now? All those horrible things happening to people all over the world including here, what about all that stuff? Well, it’s time to stop watching the news like a bird watches a snake, and get out of your body for a while.

Your Out of Body Experience awaits you! Prepare yourself for a journey beyond space, time and the 10-second commercial, into the faraway realm of ESCAPE! Videos. Lose yourself in laughter and general merriment, and experience things you would never ordinarily discover, but you will discover them NOW! (snaps fingers). Continue reading

Defending Yourself Against Trump

I am a very outspoken critic of Trump, yet he cannot silence me. I have taken steps to prevent it, and the more he tries to silence me, the louder my voice will become.

There’s no better way to publicize a book than to have it be a White House Hate Object.

This is a very different world from the one in which you were born, the ones in which you traveled through a variety of experiences, all leading to HERE and NOW.

In this very different world, a would-be world dictator is attempting to overthrow our government.

It’s still legal at the time of this writing to criticize Trump, but that won’t be the case if he gets his way in court and on the political battlefield — the Senate.

The HOUSE is just a bunch of poor Democratic idealists, and they don’t count for anything, unless impeachment is in the offing.

There used to be a time when both parties were united on one issue —  limit the power of the President.

That’s not what’s happening now. They’re defending Trump. He’s attacking US, and they’re defending HIM.

Republicans are not Republicans anymore. They’re stacking the deck with Jerrymandering so that YOUR vote doesn’t count, CAN’T count, because of the “RED” loaded district in which you voted.

Trump has sold us out to the Russians. Putin promised him that he could still stay in power after the takeover and dismissal of Congress forever.

This all happens, unless YOU motivate yourself to VOTE the bastards out of office, and then get busy helping EVERYONE defend the Constitution.

But while we’re waiting for the inevitable end of all dictators, how can you defend yourself and your family and home from Trump? Continue reading

Zombie Family Picnic Fun

 

Forget about the evacuation plans — there’s a good chance we can make a powerful jump, but we’ll have to use several magical methods to make it work.

You can set up a Zombie Family Booth and a Lucky Rodney Display anywhere.

You’ll need to set up at least minimally as a zombie family salesperson, but you won’t actually have to sell anything if you don’t want to, or just plain can’t, and there’s nobody else in your family who can or will do it for you.

One single small order of hot sauce is all you need to actually get started, but you’ll soon want to get the whole store and set it up on the side of the road or at a local fair, because this stuff sells, and what’s more, it may keep you off the government “roundup” rolls.

You need money, a lot of it, to get past this Trump Blockade in this Time Zone, and it can be done, but you’ll need lots of luck to make it through.

Speaking of luck, no matter what else you do, you need to buy, sell, trade and give away Lucky Rodneys, which has a powerful effect in itself.

Zombie Family Hot Sauces include BBQ sauces, steak sauces, marinades and more, and they’re all carefully made in a small family style kitchen, all fully licensed everywhere in the USA, so you can sell these products anywhere.

All our zomfam products carry Sacred Blessings, but nobody has to know that — they bring peace and harmony and good wishes for continued prosperity.

You get a selection of sauces in your first order, but most of those products will not sell — you’ll sell a TON of our “Habenero From Hell”, made with Red Savina Peppers, the hottest known EDIBLE hot sauce in the world!

You could set up a small outlet with just the hottest selling hot sauce, the Habenero, or you might want to include the most popular and not quite so hot “Chipotle Adobo”.

If you really want to go whole-hog, you can order all our sauces AND chocolates AND cappuccino mixes AND tea mixes and blends and all sorts of zomfam products that are ready to go out there on YOUR countertop to earn you money & Merit!

I’ve got the whole deal ready for YOU to sell up a storm, including the booth, which is nothing more than a canopy & table & chair.

You can get the USA flag canopy from K-Mart for under $40, the USA flag chair for less than $30, and the folding table for less than $50 while it’s still on sale — they’re already gearing up for back-to-school, so all the picnic stuff is on sale, up to 90% off, pretty much everywhere.

It’s going to be a tough year for any business that can’t go onto the street to earn a buck. Continue reading

Improve Your Luck

Everybody has a little lucky streak now and then, but how would YOU like to be extra-lucky?

If you’re lucky, real lucky, you don’t even have to TRY to make it — you automatically stumble on all the good things you need to get where you’ve gotta go.

Under ordinary conditions, you can rely on hard work and fair play, but not in Trumpworld — no, not here.

In Trumpworld, it is very unlikely that you will be able to do anything to avoid drowning in a planet gone mad. The chances of being rounded up and summarily executed by Trump’s firing squads is very likely, and you and I will be the first up against the wall when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan, and that’s going to be sometime before the end of this proverbial year.

There will be general riots, trucking strikes, revolt in the military ranks, political roundups of Democrats and other Liberals — which is why they want all our voter information — and of course, there will be shooting, lots and lots of shooting, because we are a gun culture, and proud of it.

The Second Amendment Will Fall — Trump can’t allow Liberals to own weapons. Do the math, then tremble and be afraid. Continue reading

NAZI OCCUPIED ALL-WHITE, ALL-CHRISTIAN AMERIKA “TRUMP BLOCKERS” FOR SALE

Zombie Girl Saved Millions in Ancient Atlantis.

“HELP US, ZOMBIE GIRL! DONALD TRUMP IS NUTS!”

He not only IS nuts, he HAS nuts, according to the reports from his female employees, and thanks to Shamanic Magic, YOU can kick him in the nuts, on the Astral Plane!

Fuckin’ Hell, I warned you that RONALD MCDONALD T-RUMP WAS NUTS, FOUR FUCKING DECADES ago, when I predicted all this in “SlimeWars”, which you probably haven’t read, if you’re still surprised by the daily outrages and attacks on YOUR personal freedoms.

Oh, but he’s much more than merely nuts. He’s an actual, real live Nazi Dictator, a tyrant, a slob and yes, he is actually possessed by an Evil Avatar, and he’s ugly, too. Hard to watch on the news just because he’s so ugly and strange looking.

He wants YOU to feel fear, just as he does, all day, every day, all night, every night.

All his closest advisors, cabinet members and social friends are actual card-carrying Party Member Neo-Nazis, except his bedmate and fellow wannabe mass-murdering fuckhead, Count Vlad Putin, who is the Father of Expediency and a former Communist. He’s a member of whatever keeps him in power.

Is there something between them? Sure, there is, and it’s not just another of those springtime romances. They’ve been plotting this all along, and Putin gets half the booty when all Trump’s enemies lie dead, like an old chestnut Shakespeare play, eh?

He and his Nazi friends  hate Mexicans, Jews, Italians, South Africans, Dutch, Poles, Iranians, Iraquis, Afghanis, Pakshis, Africans of all kinds, Arabs of any description, Blacks, Reds, Purples, Browns, Tans, Catholics, Buddhists, Shintoists, Hindus, and YOU and ME.

If they weren’t doing his dirty work for him, he’d hate the Born Again mobs, too. Actually, he does, and if he follows true to form, he’ll eventually kill them all, just as Hitler purged his S.A. troops to ensure that they didn’t overthrow him after they put him in power. Continue reading

Create a Magic Show – Here’s How!

Orm McGill & EJ Gold perform at the Labor Day Convention.

Here’s the breakdown of the effects that are available for a performance. This is not the complete act, as there are about a dozen and a half CLOSEUP effects as well. After you’ve shown mastery of the French Drop by posting a selfie video on youtube or by showing me in person at a workshop that you’ve arrived on the shores of Buddha’s Magic Land, you can learn any of the following effects in whatever order you’d like. The list is ordered according to the difficulty level. Continue reading

Real Magic from Fake???

Secrets of the Universe Revealed Through Magic — this is the current format of the listings of possible magical apparatus & skills you will need to complete the Magic Effects Course.

Don’t memorize the list — it’s by no means finalized, and will undergo many changes throughout the evaluation period, which is now through Labor Day. On Labor Day, at the Labor Day Convention, I will lay it out in sequence, and some of the effects listed below may not make the Final Cut. Continue reading