LeslieAnn — My Life As a Boy — Chapter 1 —

AUTHOR’S PREFACE

Relaxing as myself on summer vacation -- the rest of the year was spent as a boy.
Relaxing as myself — LeslieAnn — on summer vacation — the rest of the year was spent as a boy.

I didn’t like life as a boy; oh, sure, you got all the rights and privileges and perks of being a boy in a man’s world, but I had to constantly hide my gender. I bound my breasts down, wore socks to make a bulge and luckily or unluckily, my voice was naturally deep, like a 60 year old cigarette smoker — like, really deep.

My girlfriends used to make fun of my voice, and even though I could sing high harmonies in a perfectly fine soprano voice — and I can still hit the high notes today — I couldn’t make myself speak comfortably in a high squeaky voice, and I never did. Continue reading

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Why Do You Tolerate It???

 

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One kind of person you definitely do NOT want to marry is someone, male or female, with NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

What does an NPD look like, exactly?

An NPD is easy to spot. I’ll give you the basic clues in a simple rundown:

1    A very exaggerated sense of one’s talents, skills and importance in the world at large.

2.   An obvious and obsessive need for attention, lots of it, and admiration, if available.

3.   Fantasies of Great Romance. I don’t have to spell this one out for you.

4.   Fantasies of Great Insight, Great Ideas, Personal Greatness in general.

5.   Views people as objects or “dolls”, as in “my dolls came to help me give a party!”, or “hey, bitch, how about a blowjob?”.

6.   Easily offended, and when offended, crushed beyond hope, until he or she gets his or her way with you. For the NPD, everything, even the most harmless and exalted thing, is a weapon to be used to keep you under control.

7.   Self-criticism and NPD do not mix well. NPDs who are confronted with any issues problems will go immediately into a tailspin of rage and/or paranoiac accusations in every direction.

8.   Totally Unbelievably Powerful Sense of Righteousness. Even the most evil of acts can be easily rationalized by the NPD, because lying comes easier than telling the simple truth.

9.   An NPDs feelings are easily hurt. This is the first and sometimes last line of defense for the NPD who hasn’t yet crushed you down all the way to the ground.

10.   Seems very sympathetic and empathetic, but has a heart of stone, no feelings for other whatever, totally sociopathic in every respect, and a potential candidate for doing harm to others without a single drop of remorse.

11.   Has no respect for others, yet demands respect from others, and has a temper tantrum when that doesn’t happen to his or her expectations.

12.   Is able to easily rationalize and justify the most barbaric and animalistic acts, thinks of them as completely ordinary and in every respect totally normal. Doesn’t everyone do what I do??? Of course they do.

13.   Bad things tend to happen around an NPD. They get hurt easily and others get hurt just by being near them, either physically or emotionally or both.

14.   Sense of Personal Entitlement. The world owes them a living, and they tend to let their totally disrupted partner carry the weight of earning the living for both of them.

SO WHAT’S THE ANSWER? Continue reading

Seduction City

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Here’s a candid snapshot I took of my friend Goldie, thinking about stuff, circa 1972-ish.

Most women tell me that they were seduced by poetry or work ideas, spoken words. Poetry can be used for seduction or as a transportative device into the higher dimensions. It all depends on what you really want from it. In most cases, the seducer was someone they wouldn’t ordinarily even want to meet in a crowded elevator. There are millions of casual sexual predators out there, and flirtation is not yet outlawed, though it soon will be. Continue reading

Oh, I Can’t Get You Out of my Mind…

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My friends Diana Dors and Dickie Dawson Announcing Engagement, photo credit: jeff gold publicity, circa 1965.

My longtime friends Diana Dors and Richard Dawson got married. It was the ideal marriage — two show biz success stories. Di was another Marilyn Monroe, and Dickie was the next exciting young male lead actor.

It looked from outside like the Perfect Couple in the Perfect Marriage.

I saw it from the inside, as a friend and frequent house visitor, as well as working with Dickie Dawson at KHJ-TV on his Tempo Show. I have a few photos of us doing the morning show, but we also did a radio show there and another one at KWIZ in Santa Ana for a few months.

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I watched their Perfect Wedding, was a witness to the aftermath of their Perfect Honeymoon, and witnessed the not-very-slow disintegration of their love affair just about the time the wedding ceremony and reception were over. Continue reading

Angelic Harp Calls

Any computer programmer, certainly any game developer, will immediately understand when I refer to a “call”. It means that I’ve sent a uniquely recognizable prompt to the Central Processor asking for a specific response. I “call” for an action, perhaps an execution of a sound, plus an animation, say a “spin-around once, and jump up once”, when I trigger TAG=123, for instance.

And anyone with any kind of wired or wireless connection to the internet will know what a dropped call means. If you think of a smartphone as a communications device with unknown entities in some sort of electronic but not necessarily geophysical relationship to you, you’ll get the idea of what it is to “call”  or “to call down” an angel.

Uh, before you whip out your Angelic Harp or Singing Bowl or Portable Temple Bell or whatever you use to alert higher-ups that you’ve logged on and are asking for an open channel (I always use Channel “D”, an old habit left over from working at Arena Productions), I must warn you that calls cost you something, and it isn’t money. Continue reading

Addiction, you say???

DISCLAIMER: Okay, under the pressure of tons of requests for it, I’m blasting away at “Addiction”. It’s a bit of a bear, however, I think I have a handle on it at the moment. I’ll be producing the custom soundbytes for the Addiction Orb tonight, and should have it ready for testing here in the Barn by tomorrow sometime in the afternoon. After that, it’s about 8 hours before it’s bundled into its installer and all that. In the meantime, it suddenly occurs to me that you might not know exactly how the Addiction Orb works and what it’s meant to do …

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“I Want Things To Continue To Be Lousy!!!”

Go ahead, say it aloud, with me: “I want things to continue to be lousy!!!”

Nobody in their right mind would say a thing like that, would they? Certainly not my friend Bill Shatner, who survived homelessness to fame and fortune.

Yet, strangely, that’s exactly what I’ve heard for the past 70 years from a wide variety of otherwise seemingly intelligent human beings. Here’s their argument:

“It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature. If we’d been meant to be happy, there wouldn’t be death, taxes, politics, wage slavery, marriage and poverty!”

Continue reading

Am I a Boy or a Girl in my Alternate Worlds???

Notice I said “my” alternate worlds. It’s because you have your own unique set of alternate worlds. If you travel in a group or team, you share this set of alternate worlds in which you operate.

Note that I said “operate”.

It’s different. Very different. “Operating” doesn’t mean what you think it does.

I’ll explain:

Continue reading