Tag Archives: wit

Free Trump Comedy Roast!!!

VGA Open 1st Hole par 3. The “19th Hole” Pro Shop is visible on the horizon.

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Here’s a FREE comedy roast I put together just for you. It will help with the pain, believe me. Laughter is the Best Medicine, so they say. That’s fortunate, because it’s the only medical procedure covered by my current healthcare plan. I kept the gags pretty tame — I have the ability to make slashingly biting comments, but choose not to go there.

Keep in mind that you’re gonna have to use these gags really soon. Trump won’t last the year, I’m guessing, so book your comedy gigs early and work up an act featuring Pence, or you won’t be working standup comedy gigs next year, is my prediction.

Today, Trump. Tomorrow, Steve “Suckass” Bannon — he’s a private citizen now, so we can truly go to town on him! He thinks HE has weapons in the keyboard? What a maroon. He never came up against me, or anything remotely like me, but he’s in my radar now.

In the Bardos, he’s hamburger. Without further ado, here is the FREE comedy routine, which took me the better part of two days to whittle down to this size.

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Comedy Gag Elements for a Presidential Comedy Routine

 

PRESIDENTIAL COMEDY ROUTINE

Do you feel like punching Donald Trump right in his bulbous red nose? You wouldn’t be alone, but it’d be a big mistake to let that rage take you over. That’s exactly what Donald Trump wants, is your permanent rage, because that means you’re giving him the attention he needs and craves and must have every minute of every day.

How would you like to convert that rage and frustration into something good and peaceful and contributory and gentle and kind and loving and wonderful and beneficial to all beings everywhere?

That’s exactly the point of the Spiritual Technology which I used to call “CONVERSION”,  the fundamental basis for a system I once called “Anger Management”, given in the form of workshops in 1964 and 1965. I don’t use the term anymore, because it was popularized and turned into a money machine and I want no part of that action, thank you very much.

Conversion is the plan. Sure, you feel lousy and miserable, and befouled and angry and frustrated and annoyed and fearful and distrustful. These must be converted solidly into positive energy, and the best energy beam ever made was and always will be “Waves of Enlightenment”.

They act like waves, so the subject is more or less continually beaten on the head to wake up and see the Light — in short, “Get fucking Enlightened NOW!”

You start with the lower emotions and sensations, of course. It always starts with something small.

Anger, rage, frustration.

But wait!!! Those are the very same symptoms felt all day and all night by Donald Trump! How is that Possible? He’s a multibillionaire and has anything and anyone he wants in his pocket, bedroom or twitter account, or so it would seem.

As a Remote Reader, I know the truth. He’s actually in debt up to his eyeballs, and is under the power of those who give him bailout money to keep his financial empire from going under, which it has nearly done several dozen times in a row. Continue reading