Tag Archives: parody

Free Trump Comedy Roast!!!

VGA Open 1st Hole par 3. The “19th Hole” Pro Shop is visible on the horizon.

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Here’s a FREE comedy roast I put together just for you. It will help with the pain, believe me. Laughter is the Best Medicine, so they say. That’s fortunate, because it’s the only medical procedure covered by my current healthcare plan. I kept the gags pretty tame — I have the ability to make slashingly biting comments, but choose not to go there.

Keep in mind that you’re gonna have to use these gags really soon. Trump won’t last the year, I’m guessing, so book your comedy gigs early and work up an act featuring Pence, or you won’t be working standup comedy gigs next year, is my prediction.

Today, Trump. Tomorrow, Steve “Suckass” Bannon — he’s a private citizen now, so we can truly go to town on him! He thinks HE has weapons in the keyboard? What a maroon. He never came up against me, or anything remotely like me, but he’s in my radar now.

In the Bardos, he’s hamburger. Without further ado, here is the FREE comedy routine, which took me the better part of two days to whittle down to this size.

Continue reading

Пути Путина — Putin-Gate is READY for release!

Putin-Gate cover indicates that the game is loading — about ten seconds will do it.

“Пути Путина” is a very rough and in my opinion funny translation of “Putin-Gate”, a tribute to the Water-Gate days of the Nixon Era, which looks to be repeating itself for our amusement.

There have been several “gate” scandals since that time. I was tempted to use “Ворота“, but went this way instead, perhaps inadvisedly, but I think it will fly all right.

Well, in any case, “Putin-Gate” is ready for release sometime in the next few days. I’ll briefly explain the backstory idea behind the game, along with a few random screenshots of the building of the level plus a few shots at the completion of this very difficult to build and very highly detailed game. Continue reading

BITINGLY SATIRICAL PEOPLE’S SONGS OF PROTEST

BITE YOURSELF, DONALD TRUMP!

Take a heroic pose and take a stand against tyranny!

Please keep in mind that I haven’t written a protest song in well over half a century, and I wouldn’t do it now, except that we now have sitting in the White House a real louse, who insists on robbing us of our freedoms, and setting back the Civil Rights clock over a century into the past.

I don’t care about Trump personally, or politically. I’m just taking this opportunity to show my guitar and folksong writing classes how to write a protest song — that’s my entire agenda.

Is Trump traumatic? Is he intolerable? You bet he is, but I really don’t care. I’ve lived under worse dictators, and they always get theirs, in the end. Usually, the people who put them in power become disgusted and they take matters into their own hands — not a good plan, these days.

De-stabilizing Amerika is what both Putin AND Trump have in mind. Trump is looking for ANY excuse to call in the National Guard and declare a State of Emergency in which he assumes full dictatorial powers.

Think it can’t happen here? It already did, in the administration of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who served a THIRD TERM and would have remained in office for LIFE had he been given the opportunity.

An NPD does not easily let go of power, equity or fame. Continue reading

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off??? NO!!! Bust the Heads of the Bullies, and Stick Around!!!

BACKSTORY FOR “EXECUTIVE ORDER #1”, a comedic satire film parody.

By now our femme superhero Waxonn Waxoff realizes that Trumplestilskin the Conqueror cannot be stopped, that his policies will surely lead not only to war with other nations, but to war within the boundaries of her native land, Annunakkia, and it’s not just a single war, with a single purpose and two adversaries face-to-face, but a multiplicity of wars all going on at the same time, like World War I and the Russian Revolution and The Jewish Problem.

Waxoff finds herself in the midst of a race war, a religious war, a war of territory, a war of attrition and a war of total revenge, when the population finally catches up with the surviving leaders, and then, to top it all off, the Ancient Alien Invaders destroy what’s left of human cities and centers of commerce and industry.

In short, they lay waste to the land, but after the Evil Avatar Trumplestilskin gets through with it, there’s little left to crush into rubble.

Trumplestilskin himself is never personally at risk. His minions take care of everything. They defend him and destroy his enemies, for which they are well-paid.

His only concerns are a fear of the dark, a fear of being alone, and a deep, insatiable craving for attention by any means necessary. Continue reading

How To Practice Psychic Self-Defense in a World Gone Mad

Psychic Self-Defense has three distinct meanings:

  • It’s the only means for escape from suffering or expression of pain that you have left to you as a peasant.
  • It deals with spiritual energies only, well outside the realm of the physical world.
  • It’s the only revenge you will ever have.

As Inigo Montoya so eloquently said: “There’s no money in revenge.” Revenge is stupid, pointless and empty, because you’re fighting against a mechanical machine with no heart, no mind, no soul. What’s wanted is not revenge, but protection. Are you scared to death to bring up the Trump subject for fear of violence??? Okay, let’s talk, and listen up good, pilgrim:

I swear by all that’s Holy that I have no personal interest in Trump.

He’s a handy in-your-face-right-now character that readily serves as an example of a psycho-emotional organic world irritant that could intrude on your inner world and peaceful home, on a psychic or spiritual level, and my intent here is to demonstrate how to set up a line of Psychic Self-Defense for yourself, your family, your home, your business and your personal freedoms. About your stocks and bonds I can do nothing.

I’ll be sharing secrets that have never been revealed in modern times. These are the Methods and Secrets of the Ancients, and in spite of the fact that I’ll undoubtedly be sparking off the morons who voted for Trump, I’m NOT against Trump — as a matter of fact, he’s doing me a favor, and I’ll gladly explain why, as we go through this little exercise.

By the way, Trump is horrifically superstitious, which will probably come as no surprise to anyone. Besides being an NPD, he’s also a hyper-charged up OCD, which has to get really sticky for anyone unfortunate enough to serve on his staff or be on his payroll in any capacity.

Even David Lo Pan had to make a living somehow. He had his Wing Kong, I have my angelic hordes, so just leave Jack Burton alone, okay?

Because the Toupee of the Year is SO in our faces, I’ll be using The Trump Avatar as an example of someone who initiates and sets off psychic-level attacks, whether upon you intentionally and personally or as a member of a whole class of folks under said psychic attack.

It’s probably too late to mention it to the bots who rage-quit on the previous paragraphs, but I want to point out that, had Hillary won the election, I’d be after her as well, if the media frenzy were as great, this far away from the election results. Christ almighty, the problem with Trump is not his politics, although they are nutty and will soon be reversed or erased — don’t forget, I’ve seen it all a million times before.

Like I said, it’s not Trump’s politics, it’s his Narcissistic Personality Disorder — a matter of public record — that creates an incessant need for attention, and a willingness to use shock and rage to get it.

That’s why he negotiates with foreign powers ON TWITTER in full public view — he needs the attention and craves acceptance — and yes, he is a Twitter Addict, among other mental ailments and weaknesses, some of which have already been exploited by his playmate, Vladimir Potemkin, some of which haven’t shown up in the public radar yet, but they will, Frodo, they will.

I treated myself in the above paragraph to what amounts to a 100 year old joke, so old a chestnut that you’ve probably heard it a thousand times before.

Putin — Potemkin, get it???

Potemkin was the name of a Russian battleship. See, it was during the Russian Revolution — the first one, I mean — or was it the second??? Oh, forget it — it is all so complicated.

All I remember from my lessons back in the 37th century is that there were a LOT of wars back in this time period, a LOT of wars. As a gamer and game programmer, I can’t help but feel just a little responsible for all the wars, since I wrote the Back Story on this level.

Would a sincere “I’m sorry” be any compensation for all the misery and suffering of humanity throughout those wars? Well, the Great Mother sends her best, which is, of course, YOU.

Whether you like Trump, hate Trump, or are completely indifferent to the whole scene, as I am, you’re inundated on an hourly basis, even minute-to-minute, with Trump’s latest outrages and wild zany antics in the media and elsewhere, meaning supermarkets, restrooms and Born-Again Frozen Yogurt Youth Centers, where the conversation reflects little else.

He’s restless and anxious, and he needs YOUR attention, and one way to get that is to make you angry, and that’s easy to arrange, and it’s something he does very well indeed — he has almost complete control of the media in a sort of knee-jerk reflex way.

If you don’t care about the politics — as I surely don’t, having seen all this go down a million times before — you still suffer the media effects on the general population, which currently includes you, like it or not, and he’s aroused a very dangerous and violent segment of the population to help him get to power.

Problem there is, that segment of the population now has the authority and “right” to seek YOU out, and destroy you and your family, should you question Trump or his policies, or be an unfortunate member of the race, religion or political affiliations he has decided to set his dogs — that’d be you, if you’re a Pro-Lifer, on you and your family and friends. Continue reading

The Word-Processor is Mightier Than the Particle Accelerator

I got one vote in the recent election, but there was massive voter fraud.

I remember Woodie Guthrie’s guitar. It was emblazoned with a clumsy handpainted scrawl that said “this guitar kills fascists”. There’s a video, “Power of Song”, in which Pete Seeger shows how to bring about change, real change, by empowering the people.

I can’t say whether there was voter fraud in the last election — I think it might very well be the last — but I can say with certainty that no one has even considered counting the VOODOO VOTE. Voodoo practitioners are uncounted — just try to take a survey and see what happens to you.

By my rough estimate, there are approximately 259 MILLION people out there who have their backs up against the wall, facing forced exile from friends, family and supportive jobs, which means, there goes the rest of the family right with them.

Have you ever found yourself wondering what to do in order to protect yourself, your family, your home, your business, your social security, your medical benefits and coverage and your personal freedoms FROM YOUR OWN FUCKING PRESIDENT???

Okay, so what’s that got to do with anything?

Well, I’ll tell you. People feel helpless. Just helpless. They’re faced with the biggest, richest bully they’ve ever seen in their lives, and he has banker friends who can help him finance his own “Blackwater” private army if he takes it into his mangled head to overthrow himself, as Nero and Caligula did Back in The Day.

Magic, both black and white, is always popular among the poor and disenfranchised, because what else have you got, to give you enough hope to carry on? All ordinary avenues of expression and family and home and job protection is unavailable to you — you’re just a working stiff, with no real voice. There is no popular vote, just the machine.

The thing is, there are some highly experienced voodoo queens out there, along with a large number of wannabe Harry Potters with the Official Harry Potter Magic Wand & Sorcery Kit — which really does exist, you can find it on eBay — not to mention all the spellcasters from a wide variety of cultures and backgrounds, even off-world in a few cases.

There are sorcerers, wizards, shamans, all sorts of magic-users in this world, and there’s no reason to suppose that they won’t use it, when deprived of a voting voice by the Electoral College, whatever the fuck THAT’S supposed to be.

My point is that they are threatened by the Trump Administration. Every weirdo in America is under direct threat from the Fourth Reich.

So, if I were the kind of magic-user that took offense and felt aggrieved and under attack from the New Washington (see SlimeWars for what this really means, forecast with names, dates and places over 45 years ago at its first publication), I’d probably use my most bizarre magical spells to protect myself and my family and friends and lifestyle and freedoms.

I wouldn’t want to see things like these on the Psychic Wizard Market:

  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN MENTAL ITCHING POWDER — This works intermittently, in sporadic randomly timed unguessable and indeterminate time patterns, to make any Trump itch uncontrollably, for just a few seconds at a time.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN MENTAL WHOOPEE CUSHION — Whenever you activate this spell, all Trumps will emit an odorless, harmless fart sound from their rear end.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN MENTAL HOT-FOOT — Gives any and all Trumps the definite mental sensation of having a hot-foot administered to them. Great for parties and other public gatherings.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN MENTAL JOY-BUZZER —  When activated, this paranormal quantum effect gives Trumps the sensation of having their right palm tickled for just a second or two.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN MENTAL FLY-IN-PLASTIC-ICECUBE — Not a copy, this is the original mental fly in the plastic ice cube, made even funnier by the fact that it’s strictly mental, and no one else in the room can see it.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN FAKE VOMIT — I’ve been asked politely to please not describe this effect in detail.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN DOGGIE-DOO — A Plastic Poo Pyramid that emits a foul odor and a smoky, greenish haze that will fool your friends.
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN HAIRPIECE — Not a copy, this is the Real Thing. Not only is it wearable, it’s alive!
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN GORILLA MASK — Don’t just bust your seams. Now you can LOOK exactly like the Raging Gorilla that’s inside you, just bursting to get out! Have your way every time! Overwhelm! Break their shit!
  • TRUMPLESTILSKIN BRAIN TEASER — Just joking — there’s no sign of a brain.

THE PLAN Continue reading